Quintessence of the Loon

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A new kind of transmission aerial?IdEAL ORDER Psychic TV added 27 May 1999
You think that those wriggly lines and shadows you get on your TV screen are caused by air traffic overhead? You think that Roseanne Barr and Calista Flockhart really have bodies shaped like that? You think that Fran Drescher's voice is real? You believe TV news readers and weather nitwits? (Oh, OK. Nobody believes either of them.) You are wrong, wrong, wrong!

Older folk will remember The Twilight Zone (dada dada dada dada). Well, now it's come true - this man controls the vertical, he controls the horizontal. He can change what you see on your TV by the power of his mind. The only flaw in his argument is that he claims to have made politicians appear to talk nonsense. Where's the skill in that? I always thought it was in the job description.


What does Joe know?Joe Firmage: The Quest For Truth added 18 May 1999
I couldn't put it off any longer. Joseph Firmage used to be at the top of a multi-billion dollar Internet company, then one day he jumped (or was pushed) to dedicate his life to telling us about the aliens amongst us. Sillier than L. Ron Hubbard? Smarter than Wittgenstein? Dumber than a roof tile? Mr Firmage may be all three at once, but he knows how to make a good-looking web site. The scary thing is that when you read this stuff, it makes sense.

Update
Strangely, this site now just contains white text on a white background saying that the site is being rebuilt. I have heard rumours that Joe has recanted and is rehabilitating himself. News will be posted as soon as I have any. PB September 2001

A useful snackMUSHROOMS and MANKIND added 12 May 1999
Web sites are sometimes criticised for having too much graphical content. This one has a lot of words, a point which is illustrated by the thousand or so words which occur before the phrase "With that said, lets get going..." Then again, there is a lot that needs to be said here. The sacred mushroom amanita muscaria is the origin of all major religions, gave us legends like the golden fleece, caused us to put presents under Christmas trees, dominated art, music and literature, and generally gave everybody associated with it a good time. (I actually typed "a god time" there - Freud is rehabilitated.) This has to be the most influential vegetable since the apple in the Garden of Eden - but wait, it seems that that was really a mushroom.

Of course, organised religion has been hiding the facts from us for centuries. "Eat not of the fruiting body of the fungus of good and evil" and "Take, eat, this is my mushroom" just don't have the same ring to them.


Loon of the Month

You would think that there was no real competition this month. How could anyone beat Joe Firmage? Like Fangio, Pele, Ali, Ruth, Bradman, Spitz, Rosewall, Doohan, and Torville and Dean, Joe should enter the human psyche as one of the all-time great champions. But. However. I could not resist the idea of dumping my mind onto the computer each night and getting it back all defragmented and virus-checked the next day.
Honey, I'm home!Mind Uploading Home Page added 4 May 1999
Backup for the brain! If you are like me, you forget things all the time. Imagine if you could transfer the contents of your mind to a computer. Would the computer become you? Would it remember your wife's birthday, your husband's shirt size, or your ATM code. If you loaded yourself onto a Macintosh, would you wake up with a smiley face in the morning? What about Linux - would you nag everyone about how free you were? Don't even think about how often Windows crashes! Could the court subpoena your hard disk, and would you be afraid of fridge magnets?

These are serious questions, and this site give serious answers. I tried uploading some of my mind and got the picture at the right of the screen. Either that's the bit with what I know about getting rich or the system still needs some work.



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Copyright 1998 - Peter Bowditch