Quintessence of the Loon

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You can just feel the mind-control powder settling on you.Contrails - Chemtrails added 30 April 2000
Like many people in the world, I live in a city with an airport which is too busy and everyone has to put up with too much aircraft noise. Like many of those cities, politicians keep talking about building a new airport. Like everywhere where someone wants to build a new airport, everyone agrees that it is a real good idea as long as it is not near them and they don't have to listen to any more planes. Out in the country, however, nobody ever complains about aircraft noise. I wondered about this, but now it has been explained. In the cities we get noise. Out in the country they get contrails. I always thought that the reason people in cities got more upset about planes was just the noise (as the sonic bloomers down below tell us, that makes us (and our mice) more aggressive), but now I know that the real difference is because outback folk are subdued by the chemicals in the contrails. I had a scientist friend of mine examine the photograph with special equipment and he reckons those trails are largely made up of powdered dihydrogen monoxide. The liquid form of this stuff can kill you if it gets into your lungs and the gaseous form can make your skin peel off.

"So what's all this got to do with building new airports?", you ask, and it's a good question, too. The answer is that the government has found a way to keep everyone happy and keep them all voting the right way. The new airport gets built way out of town, so city folk are happy that it's not in their backyard. Country folk don't care because they have been subdued by the contrails. You might ask why the government doesn't just subdue the city folk, but there's only so much fluoride you can put in the water before it starts to glow in the dark. And the politicians live in the city.


How much would Ferrari pay for this invention?Energy for inquiring mind added 23 April 2000
I was just watching a Formula 1 race on the television, and one of the problems facing the teams was when to schedule pit stops for refuelling. It would be a real advantage for a team to be able to go the whole race without having to stop to put more petrol in the car. Despite all the fabulous technology and huge amounts of money these people have they seem blind to the obvious solution, which is that they need a perpetual-motion engine. This site is a bit rough, but it contains enough information for the clever F1 engine technicians to get started. I don't suppose Ferrari will be able to use it (they are sponsored by Shell, who will just want to suppress the idea), but McLaren could use some help at the moment. (Memo to McLaren: You know how to contact me. Hotels should be five-star, and I prefer to fly Qantas (business class is acceptable).)

Loss
Alas, it looks like the perpetual motion of this site was not so perpetual. It has gone away, or maybe the French have bought the idea to use in the new Peugeot 404 car.
PB October 2000

Do these look like lizard eyes to you?David Icke - The Biggest Secret - Reptilian Agenda - Freedom Road added 15 April 2000
A few months ago I featured some conspiracy sites, and I mentioned that an all-encompassing theory was needed to bring together all the conspiracy threads out there. A sort of Grand United Conspiracy that would have a bit of everything. Well, I think I have found it. David Icke has brought together all the old favourites - the Illuminati, the British Royal Family, the CIA, big business and bankers, most US Presidents (living and dead), Commonwealth Prime Ministers, the churches, Jews, Nazis, Communists, newspaper publishers, and just about everyone else. In fact, the hard part is figuring out who isn't part of the conspiracy. I'm not, and David Icke isn't, but that's all I am sure of.

Is this a member of the British Royal Family?So far, you're all saying "So what? Sounds like conspiracies of the past." Wrong! The difference here is that Mr Icke has established that a large number of the conspirators are shapeshifting reptilians. That is, these "people" have reptile ancestors and can switch between human and reptilian forms at will. They also eat babies (sometimes they kill them first), but that is incidental to their plans for world domination. I was really pleased, though, to hear that nobody has observed Princess Anne shifting shapes. Then again, she is a member of the International Olympic Committee, and they could show the Illuminati a thing or two about running the world.


Loon of the Month

The Lizard King would seem to be a certainty for Loon of the Month, but David Icke has been around for some time (getting madder as time goes by), so I finally decided on Joya Pope because of the thoroughness and dedication shown in her work. Any ordinary medium would have been content to just channel ONE Lassie actor, but Ms Pope made the effort and went the extra mile to contact all 15 of them. I wonder whether, when she channels Jesus, she includes all the actors who have played Him in films.
Someone should blow this dog up!More Messages from the Dead added 12 April 2000
Joya Pope channels an entity called "Michael". This Michael has remarkable abilities and can contact the spirits of dead people. And Lassie. Yes, you read that correctly. Joya has spoken to the spirit of Lassie, the film dog. Actually, Joya has spoken to the spirit of the 15 or so dog actors who played Lassie over the years, and then averaged the responses. I was relieved to hear that the male dogs who played Lassie were unaffected by the experience, but they probably just felt comfortable in the company of other great male actors such as Jack Lemmon, Dustin Hoffman and Terence Stamp who have famously dressed up as women in films. Of course, makeup and costume would be more of a problem for dogs. There is, after all, that old expression "Stands out like ...". You know what I mean. And people reckon I make this stuff up. I wish I could.

[The wonderful picture of a blow-up plastic Lassie ride-on toy came from a Lassie fan site, sadly now demised, and I thank them. No, I didn't believe it at first, either, but I felt it was more Quintessential than just a picture of a collie dog. Or 15 pictures.]


Pastoral Symphony?Sonic Bloom added 8 April 2000

"Stephie, Stephie, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells and big speakers all in a row."

Back in January I mentioned that there was a relationship between music and crop circles. Now here's more news about music and agriculture. Most of this site is your normal health fraud stuff, but this page caught my eye. Who would have thought that you could fertilise plants with sound, but apparently sound makes the little holes in the leaves open up so that the plants can breathe better and soak up the other stuff you sell to make them grow. You have to be a bit careful about the sort of music you play, though, because another page on this site tells us that rock music makes mice more aggressive. I suppose you just have to arrange the musical program so that the mice get aggressive enough to kill each other but the music isn't loud enough to damage the delicate stomata (or attract alien spaceships).

This page also mentions the late Christopher Bird. Remember him? He was the one who first told us to talk to our plants. A true icon of the loonity movement, and one who will be missed.

Loon Mail
I received some mail about this entry. Read it at the mailbox page.

Read the mind. Drink the spirit. Hide the body.World-Wide Commemorative Moment for Florence Nightingale and Nursing added 8 April 2000
I like nurses as much as the next person does. When I was much younger, they used to lock nurses up in big buildings called "nurses' homes". Men were not allowed in, but there were fire escapes. But I digress ... It seems that the time may be coming when some nurses have to be locked away again. Here's a bunch of holistic nurses who want to have a hand-waving and healing ceremony festival to celebrate Florence Nightingale's birthday. I suppose they mean well, but I wonder if all this stuff would have worked in the mud and blood of the Crimea. Happy birthday, Florence. Shine a lamp on this.



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