Quintessence of the Loon

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May 2002 marked a milestone - in this month the 500th site was added to the collection at Quintessence of the Loon. And there is still no shortage of candidates.

You want proof? Here's proof!Global Underwater Search Team added 29 May 2002
Just yesterday, I heard that the Australian Museum had acquired some more DNA and were even more excited about their clone-a-thylacine program because they might now be able to make both boy and girl Tasmanian tigers one day. This is great news for almost everyone, but it's a bit of a yawn for researchers into real non-existent animals. After all, unlike nessies, bigfeet, yetis, sasquatches, yowies and so on, thylacines are just extinct little furry dog-like things. The real excitement comes from big hairy things scuttling around forests, and the megaexcitement comes from huge things under the water somewhere. The really weird thing is that despite this site being in Swedish it seemed to make a strange sort of sense to me. A bit like reading an Ikea catalogue, I suppose.

There was something in the lake tonight
Its eyes were bright, Fernando
It was planning to eat you and me
For morning tea, Fernando
Though I'm sorry that it chewed you up
There's no regret
If I had to run away again
I would, my friend, Fernando

You don't see mitosis like this every day.The Bee - On Natural Science and Anthroposophy added 29 May 2002
I have mentioned before that I like a good synthesis. Nothing gets my heart beating faster than a good dose of synthesis (except for a lump of conspiracy, of course), so I was pleased to find this site where physics, astronomy, biology, religion, politics and the nature of man are all rolled up into a neat package that anyone can absorb in an afternoon. And what a relaxing afternoon it can be, too, as you sit there with your cells cosmically protometaphasing while you observe the correlation between the exchange rate of the Euro and the speed of potentiation of your Waldorf salad. Unfortunately, on the day I had scheduled to do this the chef ran out of Waldorfs, so had to make do with a coleslaw. I suppose I could have substituted potato salad. Ireland is in the EU.


Extra!
Orgasm Research Center added 29 May 2002

I just thought of something else that can make my heart beat faster.


Inside out and round and roundThank u for coming here - energy is free added 29 May 2002
The electricity bill came in today and I am now looking for some free energy. Well, discounted energy would do for a start, but free would be better. Most inventors of free energy devices can only come up with one, but here we have a case of someone who has managed to think up at least two. There is the personal version with the water and the float, and the big, commercial, town-sized one with the deep hole in the ground and the windmills. I am a bit puzzled by he personal one because I can't see how the up and down of the float gets turned into the round and round of something useful, but I am not a clever inventor and, anyway, the diagrams here are just approximations of how the real thing works.


Loon of the Month

What can you say about someone who gets his tongue bifurcated to make him more lizard-like? Well, one thing you could say is that it is snakes which have forked tongues, not lizards, but that would be pedantry. Also, I have never seen a lizard wearing a DickRivet™, but the pointy teeth are a nice touch.
That's a snake tounge, not a lizard's.The Lizardman added 22 May 2002
I like lizards. Not only are they one of my favourite sorts of animals, but the word "lizard" itself is one of my favourite words. Those of us who follow conspiracies have long known about the reptilian ancestry of the British Royal Family, for example (as David Icke has told us), but as a general rule people who are lizards keep the fact a secret. Sometimes we let down our guard, as happened when I and a few friends sank a few too many gin-and-tonics after we had been to the Queen Mother's funeral, but ... Oops! I think I have said too much. Anyway, back to The Lizardman. What The Lizardman doesn't seem to realise is that you have to be born a reptile. You can no more make yourself into a lizard by artificial means than you can become King of England by applying for the job. Still, he has nice scales and a very fetching apadravya.

A thought
Is the Magic Number 7 Relevant to Web Page Design added 22 May 2002

There is nothing loony about this site at all. It is a serious paper about menu structure design. I majored in cognitive psychology and I am familiar with George Miller's ideas about short term memory limitations and the number seven. So why is it listed here? Because I just love the mental picture conjured up by the paper's title - "Web Page Design: Implications of Memory, Structure and Scent for Information Retrieval". Scent? Scent? Sense of smell?

Ever since I was a young boy,
The web's been all the rage.
From Yahoo! down to Netscape,
And Fred Phelps (in his cage).
But I ain't seen nothing like him
No, not at any stage.
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure makes a mean web page!

I feel a pressure in the fundament chakra area.Blue Crystals, Blue Ray added 22 May 2002
Sometimes I am lost for words. This is just such a time. It is just as well, then, that this site contains words like "Now watch the blue crystals as they slowly move to your crown chakra . . . You begin to 'hear' that which you could never 'hear' before. Your consciousness expands . . . You may feel a pressure on top of your head. Next the blue crystals enter your third eye chakra allowing you to 'see' beyond human limitations. Again you may feel a pressure in your head area. They move down entering and clearing your throat chakra. Once again they enter your heart chakra balancing your higher chakras to enable you to be more creative . . . more intuitive. The feminine/intuitive aspects of who you are are now opened to receive that which must be shown to you at this time. You may feel a pressure in your chest area. Now watch the gentle blue crystals enter your solar plexus releasing the emotional energies stored in that area. They spin and twirl and clear that which needs to be healed. You main feel a release in your stomach area".


The dining table at Chez Loon.Rhiannon's Invocations added 15 May 2002
There are certain things that everyone loses at some times. Everyone with a car has lost the keys; people with glasses need two pairs so that they can see while looking for their glasses; TV remote controls are made of some special plastic that changes shape and appearance constantly and spends a portion of each day invisible. All of these inconveniences are nothing, however, compared to the waste of time and loss of productivity when someone can't find her scrounge. My wife lost her scrounge one day and I thought she was going to take a crowbar to the bedroom walls and take the house apart piece by piece. Luckily, she found that it had slipped under the altar (with the remote control, my copy of The Idiot's Guide to Lava Lamps, and two of those little sticks I use to poke my Palm Pilot). I was pleased, because she was about to start waving her wand around and it does more damage than two crowbars.


Extra!
Worm Culture - Recipes added 15 May 2002

Feeling hungry? Neither am I now.


Secret stoneprints from the Aswan Boeing assembly plant.Ancient Egyptian Flying Vehicles added 15 May 2002
It has always been obvious that only an extremely advanced civilisation could build pyramids. For example, how could simple, primitive people get the point at the top in place when it is so far from the ground? I know that some short-sighted fools have claimed to know that the Egyptians started building pyramids from the bottom and only put the point on last, but how advanced would that be? Anyone can stack rocks into a pyramid shape, but that doesn't mean that the Egyptians had to do it the way we would do it today with our limited technology and knowledge of construction practices. Now that evidence has been found that the Egyptians had helicopters, submarines (and subsandines for use under the desert) and even gliders that modern man only rediscovered by going to the movies, we have to reconsider our opinion of these ancient masters. Now there can be no doubt.


Extra!
Ahhhh! That feels better!Butt Ice added 15 May 2002

Much better than ice cubes. No sharp edges, reusable, and if you decide to use it in your Johnnie Walker it won't melt and dilute the flavour.


Away it goes, ascending as it goes up.Ascended Earth added 15 May 2002
The less imaginative amongst us think that Pegasus is just a horse with wings. The reason I say "less imaginative" is that winged quadrupeds are relatively common in some parts of the world. My cat, for example, has only stubby little wings and can't fly but one of my neighbours has a Dalmatian with magnificent plumage, and the sight of it flying up to meet Roger at the bus stop, carrying his slippers in its mouth, is one of the things which maintains property values in my suburb. But I digress ... Not only are these people less imaginative, but they are also less informed. Those in the know know that Pegasus is not just a horse but a spaceship made of light, packed to the brim with wonders that can be of immense benefit to mankind. And womankind. And animalkind. But I think I have said enough ...


Mars at a glance.Cydonia. Cartography and Art added 7 May 2002
Mars is usually just a red dot in the sky, but thanks to this site we can now see it as if we were standing right next to it. I think that it is wonderful how the aliens have allowed us access to this fabulous museum. What is also impressive is the way they have shown consideration for older humans who may be suffering from a little presbyopia or short sightedness. By using print that is visible from low earth orbit, they have made it possible for people who have misplaced their reading glasses to join in the wonderment. Thank you, ETIs. Like all museums, this one takes us back to explain history. Until now I was unaware that "the fact that LOH is really rooted in the teeth of powerful 'PANTOCRATON' indicates the draconian law which had to be implemented when orderly (along megayears) the human habitats had to be transfered to underground massive domes".


Pythagoras whispering to Shakespeare??The Sodomite Prophecy added 7 May 2002
The page that first caught my eye on this site had the unusual title "Is Israel True to its Jewishness? A Parable on the Lost Password as the Name of God", but that was just the start of a magical journey through a philosophical and theological masterpiece. You can only imagine the flash of insight I had into the workings of time when I read "The Pythagorean Quaternary 1+2+3+4 = 10 (and its corresponding artificial Quaternary 1+2+3+2 = 8) is afteral a canon of transposition (metathesis) which through the symbollical association of numbers, effects a philosophical change upon the obligation of Sabbath commandment by substituting an occulted metaphysical architecture which are imposed upon the 10 (Words) Commandments as the canon within Scripture". Have you ever seen such a concise synthesis of religion, history, mathematics and language? Awesome!

I've got mail!
I have received some mail (and a legal threat) about this site.
Please click here to read it.

Extra!
The MoJoMoon Magick Shoppe added 7 May 2002

It was all very well for Preston Foster and Muddy Waters to tell us about how their mojos are workin, but mine needs a tune up sometimes. This is where I take it.


Would you want this thing chewing on your leg?Yowie footprint photos added 7 May 2002
Australia is a land of strange and dangerous creatures. The bush and the backyards contain some of the most venomous snakes and spiders in the world. The water at any beach is a seething cauldron of sharks and box jellyfish. The very centre of the place is occupied by herds of baby-eating dingos. In between there are feral kangaroos and carnivorous wallabies, and flying above it all are cockatoos, fruit bats, giant green cicadas and, worst of all, vast clouds of sabre-toothed bogong moths which can strip a cow to a skeleton in less time that it takes a piranha to say "Let's do lunch". Despite all this we residents are a stoic lot and, apart from brushing the occasional vampire fly from our faces, we live in peaceful coexistence with the fauna. Until a yowie comes along, that is. Even the two-metre tall eastern winged koalas are afraid of them. Just look at that bite on the tree!



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