Home Page of Madame Guillotine added 28
This lady is married to a guillotine.
Far be it from me to comment on anyone's choice of life partner,
but I thought this was a bit odd. Then I got to thinking about the
advantages. She always knows where he is on Saturday nights and
what time he'll be home from work. He's easy to cook for and can
even help with the preparation. He doesn't want to play golf and
never shouts at the referee during football matches. She can stand
on him to change light bulbs. He doesn't need to rent a tuxedo to
go to the opera - just a lick of black paint and a bit of polish
on the chopper.
The music is lovely all over this site, and so appropriate. While
you are looking at the site, don't forget to go to the guillotine's
own home page. He loves her, too.
When this site was added in April 1999, this lady said
she was married to a guillotine. Now she says she is
married to the Berlin Wall and has been since 1979.
I assume she decided she was a widow after the wall
came down and that is why she took up with the guillotine,
but now it looks like she is grieving for the wall all
over again and has forgotten her later love. She still
has the same music, however, and the site is still called "guillotine".
What a fickle person! PB October 2000
Loon of the Month
tough call for Loon of the Month. I finally decided
on the dog diaper because of the ineffable silliness
of it. Anyone can marry a machine, expose an assassination
or reinvent physics. Not everyone can solve the really
pressing issues of our time.
Dog Diaper Home Page added
21 April 1999
"The woman was
screaming and holding her head. I pushed past her and
looked into the room beyond, unprepared for the shock.
There was blood everywhere, on the walls, on the carpet.
In the middle of the room was a human hand, an expensive
watch on what was left of the wrist. In three corners
of the room sat three dogs - a Doberman, a Rottweiler
and a pit bull. All were licking their lips, and in
front of each dog was a red cloth object like a turban.
"I turned to the woman, who had calmed down
a little, and said 'What happened here?' Through sobs,
she said 'My husband was going to take the dogs for
a walk. He just went in to put the diapers on them'.
I understood. Dogs can stand only so much embarrassment."
(Extract from my new novel "Cerberus: Dog Psychiatrist")
Diana Murder Conspiracy added 14 April
We gasped when we heard the news. We cried during
the funeral on TV. We tensed up, waiting for Elton John to miss
a note while singing those new, unfamiliar words. We applauded the
enraged brother when he put the boot into the inlaws. We bought
millions of flowers, cards, and copies of the song. We lost countless
hours of work comforting each other around coffee machines. What
we didn't do was laugh. But some people were laughing. Secretly.
The Queen, the Pope, Bill Clinton just to name a few. These were
the people who had conspired with the security forces of the world
and the Paris traffic authorities to assassinate the most loved
person in the world and her consort, The Arab. What more can I say?
This site says enough. More than enough, actually.
Like Diana and Dodi, this site is no more. Perhaps the
conspirators got to the site owner and convinced him
to keep quiet. Maybe they took him on a car ride through
a tunnel. PB October 2000
added 7 April 1999
used to tell us that water has a memory. Now he tells us that he
can transmit the biological properties (or even the magical homeopathic
qualities) of chemicals by email. He is, of course, being oppressed
by the great French conspiracy to preserve the teachings of Descartes,
as well as by the Newtonian/Einsteinian axis of conventional science.
Dr Benveniste is one of the most honoured scientists of our time,
having won an unprecedented TWO
Ig Nobel awards
and getting the 1998
Pigasus Award from James Randi. Now he is a Quintessence laureate,
can canonisation be far away? (I was channelling the spirit of Rene
Descartes the other day and I asked him about his intellectual descendent.
Rene cogitated for a while and then said "nil cogitat ergo