Quintessence of the Loon

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Jumpin Jack Flash! It's a gas, gas, gas.Making Star Trek Real added 30 May 2000
Plato. Newton. Einstein. Sarfatti. The names resonate with the cosmos, each adding to the knowledge of the ones who have gone before. Newton said that he could see further by standing on the shoulders of giants, but he could not foresee the total reinvention and rediscovery of physical laws that Jack Sarfatti would reveal to us. For Jack to stand on a giant's shoulders would be redundant, because Jack is the giant himself. The giant of giants, to be precise. Don't let the title of this site fool you into thinking it is just another Trekkie mind meander. This is the real thing. Compared to Jack Sarfatti, Stephen Hawking might as well be a man in a wheelchair. In one of his essays, Jack says: "Inspired by Richard Wagner’s opera, Tanheuser, on the radio, having just seen Travolta and Sedgwick in Phenomenon, I realized that the post-quantum local decoding of nonlocal form-dependent intensity-independent future forces of destiny is the fundamental act of creative imaginings of a richer and more perfect reality." I rest my case.

Dr Sarfatti wrote to me:

Date sent: Sat, 06 Oct 2001 11:46:07 -0700
From: "Dr. Jack Sarfatti"
Subject: parody
To: loon@ratbags.com
Organization: The Sommerfeld Institute of Advanced Physics

Goofball, I am kidding around. Get a sense of humor.

I'm glad we cleared that up. Dr Sarfatti's contributions to Usenet can be found here.
PB October 2001

If you pay for this you have really been stung!Bee in Balance added 25 May, 2000
Imagine this. Your dog gets skittled by a car and the back half of him ends up less than useless. He drags himself around the house, his incontinence making life unpleasant for everyone, until one day you decide that something has to be done. Unable to trust the vet, you look for a method to whack the dog in some natural-looking way (the kids would never believe that he died naturally from a bullet in the head). Gazing into the garden, you notice movement around the flowers and you think "Aha! Bees!". You figure that if he gets stung to death by a swarm of killer bees not only will your carpet cleaning problem go away in a manner which satisfies the family, but the tabloid newspapers will probably give you a new dog in exchange for your story.

The next day you collect a whole lot of bees in a big bottle. You give the bottle a shake just to get them a bit more annoyed, and then you let them go in the kennel and put a phone book over the door. Imagine your surprise when you look inside and Rover is standing up. A few days later he is mating with chair legs again, and it is not long before he is back to his old self, barking at postpersons, fouling the neighbour's lawn instead of your lounge room, and chasing taxis. A Miracle.

(Note: I am being serious now. Bee "therapy" is one of the madder forms of quackery. Just one bee sting can kill a susceptible person, and there are real dangers from other bee products as well. Stay away from it.)

It looks like this garden has had an attack of the killer caterpillarsGarden Spirits & Metaphysical Fairies using Color Therapy Healing added 18 May 2000
I am told there is a garden outside my house. It must be that place full of strange green vegetably things with the coloured patches on them. Here is a gardening web site after my own heart. First of all, it talks about spirits in the garden, and there's nothing I like more after a hard day at the webface than to relax with some spirits. Or sometimes a beer. The other thing I like about this gardening site is its respect for weeds. I have always adopted a laissez fair approach to gardening, taking the position that if something really wants to grow somewhere, why would you pull it out and plant something that needed constant attention? When the site owner says of weeds: "Policy makers deny the ability to bargain .. alternate states are good for you to feel. Parts are denied and somber thoughts and feelings prevail. I am sturdy, strong against all forces. The way is known now to uphold against foreign forces. Sink the roots deep and deny the very existence of those forces. (feather the root; covering like a web to obscure attack)", I know exactly how they feel. These people also like rocks. I assume that means that they like their spirits on the rocks.

Sadly, the metaphysical fairies appear to have spirited this site away. PB November 2000

"I look at clouds from both sides now"The Billie Alonzo file added 18 May 2000
Last month I mentioned how people are concerned about the clouds that planes leave behind. Here's another site about clouds, but other than that, I don't really know what it means. It seems that someone took some pictures of clouds once, stuck the pictures onto some paper, and typed some words around the pictures. Someone (maybe the same someone) photocopied the pages. Someone (maybe a third someone) scrunched up the copies. Another someone (or perhaps one of the others) smoothed out the scrunchiness and made a web site. Apart from that, there's not much I can tell you. I did, however, feel a certain empathy with the original typer when I read that he had said "... PacMan is an electronic dot with an all devouring "mouth" proceeding across a video screen gobbling up anythin in it's path."

It seems that PacMan finally caught up with Billie. Chomp. PB October 2001

He's back! Thank you to Mr Bee who found Billie's masterpiece and gave it a home.
PB June 2002

And away it goes again. PB 5 November 2002

More numbers than you can poke a stick at.Gematria Research added 12 May 2000
I'm not very smart. I realise this every time I come across a web site like this one which has all sorts of mathematical proofs of things that I had never even thought of. This one contains an exposition of what it says are "Alpha-Numeric Patterns Discovered In English Alphabet". I always thought that "alpha-numeric" meant "made out of letters and numbers", so an alphabet sort of has to be partly alpha-numeric even before you start. An interesting alpha-numeric observation about this site is that it calls itself "Gematria" on the page but spells it "Gamatria" in the page title. I assume this has some numerical significance, because I would hate to think that someone who has devoted all his time (since the ETs spoke to him) to analysing letters would be sloppy with spelling.

(Speaking of sloppiness, I was originally going to feature a site about phi, the golden ratio, but the author said that phi was "about 1.6180339887498948482045 86834365638117720309180...", and I like people to be a bit more precise.)

ET - phone Washington!Space Alien Backs Bush for President added 12 May 2000
It's an election year in the USA, and politicians certainly qualify in the looniness stakes. It is good, however, to see a politician getting out to see what the electorate wants. It is also good to see that he is not just confining himself to talking with the normal supporters in the usual demographic categories, but actually trying to get input from minorities. I know some people would start conspiracising and suggest that politicians take orders from aliens rather than just consult with them about their special needs, but I am prepared to give politicians the benefit of the doubt. It is extremely fortunate that we have journals of record like the Weekly World News to bring us these sorts of stories, and the story must be true because there is even a photograph of Mr George Dubya Bush meeting with the alien representative. Mr Bush is the one on the right.

Alas, now that Mr Bush is President Bush, the WWN doesn't think it has to keep old stories. PB October 2001

Loon of the Month

As this whole Quintessence site got its name from something that a feminist ranted at me once (see the background page), it would be remiss of me not to award the Loon of the Month garland to the scholarship and careful research shown in the Hystery site. Rarely does one come across such a compelling collection of facts and historical accuracy. (Sorry, there I go again. I mean "herstorical". Or is that "hysterical"?) It is wonderful to see how things were if only they had been how things ought to be when things ought to be the way you would like them to be if how you would like things to be was the way things really might have been but probably were not. I am out of my depth here, but that is understandable as I have not yet reached even the status of "dead white male".
Early ecofeminists must have saved a whale.The Hieros Gamos Part 1: Exorcising Bitter-Sweet Hystery added 8 May 2000
Easter was a couple of weeks ago, so I thought I would say something about it. (Alright, I should have done it then, not now. Stop nagging.) Here is a page in a wonderful ecofeminist site that gives a complete history of mankind. Oops! I meant "hystery" (or "hystory" or "herstory"). Oops! I meant personkind. Apparently, biodiversity is being threatened by the recent introduction of patriarchy into societies. Back in the olden days when women ran everything and men were just kept for hunting wild vegetables, breeding, killing spiders and putting the garbage out on Monday nights, there was a lot of biodiversity and rainforest. Since men invented meat eating, football and hysterectomies the world has been going downhill fast, and men don't know how to fix things because they won't ask for directions. It's good that women are taking over again. I may have misunderstood what this site is saying, but then, after all, I am just a man and not imbued with the goddess spirit. Merry meet to you all.

"And when is he going to mention Easter?" you say. I did get a bit sidetracked, but the connection is where the word "Easter" came from. On this page you can find a link to the "99 Names of Eostre". I would have spelled it "Oestre", but I'm just a man. Merry meat to your barbecue.

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