Quintessence of the Loon

Previous monthNext monthJune 2000

June is Conspiracy Month, in fond memory of Earl Gordon Curley who passed away on 26th June, 1998. Earl was the most accurate psychic around, and predicted that the Pope would die in 1998. Earl did not, however, predict the death of Earl. As well as being a psychic of awesome power, Earl was also a crackpot of such consummate looniness that all others can merely aspire to his greatness. It is people like Earl who make this site possible.

Hail to the Chief! But which Chief?Curse of all Curses added 30 June 2000
Back in March I mentioned that there was some dispute about the succession of the Papacy. Now I find that there are serious questions about the authority of the various Presidents of the USA since Ike assumed the Oval Office. I was having a bit of trouble reading this site, but I just twiddled a dial or two on the little control panel behind my left ear and it all became clear. Just read it and judge for yourself: "This is the medieval ages as far as what goes on behind the scenes by the multi-billion dollar corporations and the others in the corporate-military-intelligence complexes of many countries. Today, 300 plus ??? are American, British and Canadian Holocaust and in several other countries. this is certain to be the case or even many more 1 or 2 generations from now." This site only tells part of the story, though. When I think back to 1953 when Eisenhower became President, I am reminded that that was the same year that the Throne of England changed hands. Yes, the reign of Queen Elizabeth (or "Elizardeth", as she is known to her friends) parallels the false presidencies. Another piece of the jigsaw falls into place. Remember you read it here first.

A holy relic - chriropidy by the CIA.[Observant visitors here may notice that I try to make all the pictures the same width. I was originally going to use the picture of a toenail for this item, but the image of the Presidential Seal was EXACTLY the right size already. There can only be one explanation - they were waiting for me! How did they know I was coming?]

When the incumbent President is a direct descendant of a previous President, there can be no doubt that secrets are being kept within the family. PB October 2003

The site author thinks that I am part of the problem, not part of the solution. Read his comments here.

These people are so evil they must be doctors! From the gubmnt!AIDS Biowarfare added 30 June 2000
 I can see it now. A secret gubmnt committee gets together to work out what to do about all those pesky gays and black people who are running around the streets demanding things like civil rights and jobs and stuff. Someone says "Let's just shoot them" and the committee debates this for a while and eventually decides that this approach might not look good on the TV news. Suddenly, a metaphorical light bulb goes on over a presidential confidantes' head, and she says "How about a new disease? Something incurable and really horrible". There is a moment of silence, followed by a round of applause. "But how will we get them infected?" asks a Senator from a conservative state. "Easy", replies the Mayor of a city with a university, "we can pretend that it's a vaccination trial". The committee chairman, the light from a window glinting on his bald head, raises his hand from the arm of his chair and says "Make it so".

While we are talking about conspiracies, we should look at how conspiratorial the media is when reporting about business. You can go here to read about the right-wing conspiracy and here to read about the left-wing conspiracy.

Pyramids and Popes - what a combination.Overview of A-albionic Research added 27 June 2000
I don't have a clue what this is all about, but then I'm not "in the know". This site seems to have a lot to say about who is running the world, but it kept asking me for a credit card. Even if I had one of these spawn-of-the-devil introduction cards, I wouldn't be giving it out over the Internet where any gubmnt flunkey or lackey of the international finance cabal could get my details and run up huge bills at the Dubai duty-free shop. There is another section of this site which claims to show you some of the secret documents but these are obviously a sham because if they were so secret that they have to be hidden behind passwords and credit cards then why would you let anyone look at them for free?

One world, indeed! I can think of at least four.United Nations Poised to Impose One World Government added 27 June 2000
The world has been seduced by a huge advertising campaign to believe that the most important international event to be held in September 2000 will be the Olympic Games. This is just a smokescreen to hide the true agenda. While the eyes and television cameras of the world are fixed on Sydney, the UN will be meeting to establish the One World Government. (Another reason for waiting until then is that if they did it sooner, there would only be one team at the Games.) It was not lost on me that the site for the Games is called "Homebush", an obvious acknowledgement of the influence of President Bush (you remember him - Dubya's father) who was not only a paid-up member of the oil cartel but also a member of Skull and Bones, one of the greatest secret societies of them all.

US Patent 5,878,155Method for verifying human identity during electronic sale transactions added 27 June 2000

And you people said that all the conspiracists were nuts! Just read what the US Patent & Trademark Office has to say about that!!

Loon of the Month

Mohamed Al Fayed was an early contender for Loon of the Month simply because he is so rich and smart and famous, but I thought I would grant him a bit of slack because of his personal involvement in his pet conspiracy. It finally came down to a race between the parallel government and the sound control. Both sites have gained access to extremely secret information but, even though I was extremely impressed with the photograph of the almost-invisible stealthy anti-gravity plane, I have to say that getting your hands on the actual plans of the actual machine the gubmnt is using to control your mind is an achievement worthy of recognition. Now to build the antidote!
Listen, do you want to know a secret?UltraSonics-America's Secret Police added 20 June 2000
Years ago, Paul Simon wrote a song called "The Sounds of Silence". Nobody knew what it meant then, and even fewer know what it means now. That is because the unenlightened don't realise that what Simon was writing about was not some drug-addled 60s daydream but a prophecy of government control. Written midway between the assassinations of Kennedy and King, it was actually a coded reference to "The Silence of Sounds", the ultrasonic tools of oppression which were even then being created in the secret underground laboratories buried deep beneath the Hoover Dam, the Statue of Liberty ("Liberty"?? Ha!!), the Tower of London and the Sydney Opera House. When Shakespeare had Mark Anthony say "Lend me your ears" he knew what he was talking about, because even in Roman times the government knew the power of sound. It is no coincidence that in parliaments and congresses around the world, the puppet rulers shout "Hear, hear" whenever one of them speaks about anything, because to legislate is to attack the freedom of citizens and they use this mnemonic to remind them of the organs of sound perception (even if you spell it "here, here"). They even talk about "sound government" when they want to get elected. I could go on, but I won't. Beethoven was deaf. Think about it!

This is Kadabra. The picture is © and  and tm and everything else and belongs to Nintendo.How POKEMON and Magic Cards Affect the Minds and Values of Children added 20 June 2000
Some people just don't have enough things to worry about, so they go about looking for evil. And often they find it, as is the case with this site. Anyone who has lived with youngsters over the last couple of years will be aware of the horrors of Pokémon. Not only do these horrible monsters cause chaos and capitalism in the schoolyard, but they can lead to the emptying of parents' wallets and fighting over the television. Worse still, collecting the cards can lead to even greater evils like pretending and imagining and play-acting and may, in extreme cases (just as sexual experimentation can start kids on the slippery slope to dancing and picnics), even precipitate a descent into the maelstrom of Harry Potter books.

[The image of Kadabra comes from the official Pokémon site and is, of course, the property of Nintendo. Lawyers are arguing about which magician owns the spoon.]

You did not see this! Forget you saw this!Above Top Secret - Uncovering Government Conspiracies added 14 June 2000
Shhh! Don't tell anyone about this site. It contains secrets so secret that even the Secret Service and Victoria's Secret don't know about them. In fact, this site is so secret that you must promise to forget everything you see after you go there. Even that picture of an anti-gravity-powered plane over there is so secret that you haven't really seen it (of course, being a stealth plane, you weren't meant to see it, even if it were not so secret). I find the idea of a parallel government apparatus quite plausible, because when you look at politicians and bureaucrats it is obvious that they couldn't run a keg party in a brewery so someone else must really be in control.

You may wonder how the author of this site knows all this secret stuff and why nobody has come around to disappear him. Well, I am going to reveal for the first time that this site is a hoax, a coverup of the real truth which is that there is a THIRD parallel government, sorry, gubmnt whose apparatchiks are pulling the levers, levers so secret that only I and a handful of others know about them. Remember you read it here first. If I or the Quintessence of the Loon site disappear you will know we are dead. Inquire no further or you will join us.

Puttin' on my top hat and polishin' my nails.alfayed.com added 14 June 2000
When I am in London, I always make a point of buying a sandwich and a t-shirt at Harrods and I read Punch magazine on the train (when I am not listening to dinosaur rock on 963AM). When I am in Paris, I always stay at The Ritz (but I don't let their security people drive me to the airport). I used to occasionally take tea with the late Duchess of Windsor and I appreciate the effort put into restoring her house, and if I cared a whit about soccer I would probably follow the Fulham club. I am, in fact, a great supporter of the business activities of Mohamed Al Fayed and if I were a member of the British Parliament I would campaign strongly to grant him British citizenship, even if it was just to get him to shut up about it.

The reason Mohamed's site is listed here is that he has become the doyen of Diana Conspiracists. Of course we are all sympathetic to him about the loss of his son, but ...

What's that thunk, thunk, thunk noise?Blackchopper's page added 8 June 2000
Well, I'm convinced. I started out thinking that all these conspiracy theorists were just nuts, but then I came across this site. Here is irrefutable proof that there actually are black helicopters. We had all assumed these things to be figments of the imagination of madmen, because no sane person could conceive of a helicopter in that colour. Have you ever seen a helicopter that was black? I didn't think so! Here are actual, unretouched photographs of helicopters, and the helicopters are black!! Notice that the owner of this site doesn't put his/her/its name to it, so the gubmnt can't come around and kill the family. Remember Waco! Lock up your chickens.

(Note: this site could well be a hoax. It is sometimes hard to tell, but most hoaxers turn on the spell checker, even though we all know that Microsoft passes on all spelling errors to the CIA as part of citizen psychiatric profiling.)

Keep the shiny side out.Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie added 8 June 2000
Just in case, here are some instructions for making your own protective headgear.

Thar she blows!Oklahoma City Two Bomb Theory added 8 June 2000
I thought I had better have an Oklahoma City Bombing conspiracy site in here, so here is one picked at random. There can be no doubt that the government was involved in the bombing, because it was government property that got blown up. Everyone knows that the best way to cover your tracks is to injure yourself so that everyone feels sorry for you and forgets that you did it yourself. I notice that they link the "second gun" theory in the Kennedy Assassination to the "second bomb" theory. The links between the two incidents should be obvious to all - both "Oswald" and "Oklahoma" start with the same letter and both incidents happened on a day with a "y" in it. Why, indeed?

The picture is actually from a series showing the results of a nuclear blast. McVeigh was forced to use fertilizer instead of the real thing because the government had signed some sort of anti-nuclear testing treaty, probably because someone at the UN wanted them to. They take away our atom bombs and next thing they will be taking away our handguns. Where will it stop?

Back to Quintessence of the Loon. Email the
Copyright © 1998 - Peter Bowditch