Star Wars Surprise added
26 August 2000
I mentioned Yoda a few weeks ago,
and I had no idea what I was doing. Please forgive me. How could
I know? How could anyone know? I am terribly sorry if I have endangered
your souls, but you can take comfort in the thought that I, too,
have seen the evil Yoda. I apologise. The devil made me do it.
Hidden Master added 26 August 2000
One of life's great worries is where to take your next holiday.
All the traditional places are too expensive, too popular, or too
much in the middle of civil unrest. The Hidden Master, however,
has come to the rescue of vacationers everywhere by telling us about
the wonders of Atlantis. None of your friends will have been there,
so they will all look at your photos and videos and gasp at your
souvenirs. Did you know that the Atlanteans wrote poetry? By the
look of the tourist guide in the picture, they have a similar aesthetic
sense to ours but I would check the guide books carefully to see
what sort of clothes to pack. The guide might be wearing some kind
of uniform like rent-a-car people and cabin crew do, or she may
be showing how to dress formally for dinner with the Dolphiness
of Quork. You would not want to over-dress for everyday occasions.
added 26 August 2000
reason Atlantis disappeared all those years ago was that the inhabitants
did not dress properly. If what you see above is an example of the
sorts of uniforms that the workers in the tourist industry wore,
then it is no wonder that the wrath of !Keewwll! the Dolphin was
brought down upon their heads. I like the female form as well as
the next person does, but there are limits. If God had meant women
to go around naked, He would have made sure they were born with
no clothes on. I don't think it is always necessary to go to the
extremes of covering up that you see in the picture, but modesty
demands that some effort be made, and more effort is better than
less. Of course, I don't recommend that women go around in those
Talibanish bags with the little flyscreens to look out of. A man
could take the wrong wife home from a party that way.
Unfortunately, this fine fashion site appears to have gone
out of fashion, and its contents have been put in a wardrobe
and forgotten PB October 2001
Gridwork added 17 August 2000
It is quite clear to me that my body is made up of rectangular parts
which vibrate. All these parts of me are projections of an external
grid that hangs around a few inches (or about 2.54 few centimetres)
outside my body. This must be so, because whales and dolphins have
told us. As Nancy and Ariel say on this site: "We have found
that when an individual reaches 1024 in ascension initiations, it
is more apparent as to the degree or percentage of the gridwork
that is missing by their ability or inability to hold their vibration.
With this ability to observe the gridwork, it has come to the attention
and examination of the Order of Rise. They have reviewed the implications
of the incomplete gridwork and have created revised blueprints and
holograms for the human template as well as all template."
I could not have put it better myself.
Roswell UFO Technology added 17 August
Here's the man who invented the PC. We all
thought it was an abbreviation for "personal computer",
but it seems it was actually short for "pattern creator".
He also invented Windows, so it's all his fault, not Bill Gates'.
Because he knows how hard it is to invent this technology, he knows
how it must have been impossible for Shockley, Noyce and all those
other people to have invented the transistor. They had help.
Wicca Page added 17 August 2000
There was this old crone who used to live a few houses away from
me when I was young. Adults would warn us about talking to her,
and people dropped their voices to a whisper when they walked past
her house. She had a cat. My friends and I used to sneak up onto
her veranda and peer through the windows. Dusty windows. Windows
with cobwebs on them. Inside we would sometimes see her reading
from a huge book by the light of a single large candle. Once, she
looked at the window as if she could see us, and struck a single
note on a large bell by her side. We froze in fear, then crept back
to our homes. One day, she just disappeared. The body of her cat
was found in her front yard, and my mother could not find our broom.
Two days later, her house burned to the ground leaving behind only
her rocking chair and a green shawl, untouched by the flames.
Rainygirl has vanished, leaving behind a faint mist rising
from the warm earth. The candle on the floor gutters out
as the last of the wick sinks into the molten wax. In the
distance, a cat miaows ... PB October 2001
Loon of the Month
|I am faced with
a dilemma - a conflict between the heart and the head, between
passion and reason. The heart says that Timothy Leary should
win the award for Loon of the Month. Not only did he have
a song written about him, but he managed to start a great
Internet rumour about how he was going to die online. Also,
people who followed his teachings are just the sort of people
who, in later life, apply their remaining brain cells to
making the sort of sites featured here. The problem is that
Professor Leary was a professional loon. He did it for a
living. I have decided, therefore, to award this month's
garland to an amateur professor. Professor Cheng wants to
start his own university to pass on his knowledge. This
is far more quintessential than having a tenured position
Research Institutes added 12 August
460 volumes! More books about philosophy
than Karl Marx! A complete refutation of Darwin, and not
that tired old creationist stuff but a real, scientific
examination of the facts. More psychiatry than Freud (some
would say that that's not too hard). Here is a site based
on quantity, not quality. I like the idea of someone founding
a university and filling the library with his own books.
I like the idea of someone who can write hundreds of books
about all areas of human study and interest. And to think
that Dr Cheng was able to do all this while being tracked
and persecuted by the CIA. I take my hat of to him. He probably
won't take his hat off in return in case the satellites
get to his brain.
Alien Abductions added 12 August 2000
Dr Cheng's problems with the CIA reminded me that I had given instructions
on how to make a mind-control-proof helmet in June. Here is another
hat, but this one goes even further and protects you from being
abducted by aliens. I note the good advice not to leave it in the
closet because aliens have been known to look there and steal them.
I must take them to task, though, for the incomplete instructions
about how to modify the hat for comfort. It quite rightly says that
you can punch some holes (but not too many) in it for ventilation.
It should warn you to take the hat off first before you start work
with the bradawl.
Economics added 12 August 2000
Much has been said about alternative medicine. One thing that comes
up in conversation about this is the dearth of other alternative
disciplines such as engineering, law and physics. Oh, I know there
are people who claim to have discovered the flaws in Einstein's
theories or the rulings of various courts, but these people usually
claim to be working within the system but in another paradigm. This
is why I was so pleased to find that someone is proposing alternative
economics. It is just too easy to suggest reform from within. It
takes real courage to stand outside the mainstream and declare "You
are all wrong. I am the alternative!". "Bravo!",
I say. Throw away your currency and bank accounts. If you throw
them to me, I will promise to dispose of these useless items in
an ecologically-friendly way.
et Astrum Oasis - Ordo Templi Orientis
added 5 August 2000
I had to wait until August
to add this site because it was only on 30th July, 2000, that Serpente
et Astrum was promoted from a Camp to an Oasis. I used to be in
the French Foreign Legion where you could have a camp that was simultaneously
an oasis and vice versa. The days of Fort Soixanteneuf are long
behind me and I no longer have to eat gritty croissants and dried
snails but the memories are flooding back. Not that there were many
floods in the desert. But I digress ... This Oasis is just around
the corner from where I live, and I am pleased to report that they "are
currently chartered to initiate the Introductory Man of Earth Degrees
from Minerval to IIIš degree". I was wondering how I was
going to get that done. I am specially impressed by the upper limit
of "IIIš degree" because I like my degrees with extra
YodaJeff.com added 5 August
Sometimes I feature something here just because
it shows that someone has a magnificent obsession. This site has,
among other things, 1000 (that's one thousand, or "M"
for any Romans still reading) pictures of the creepy Yoda from some
film or other. Feel the farce, Luke.
Leary added 5 August 2000
"Timothy Leary's dead. No, no, he's outside, looking in".
If you can remember the band, the album, the song and the composer
then you were probably paying attention in Dr Leary's chemistry
classes. If you can remember being in those classes you probably
weren't paying attention. Speaking of mind-blowing music, I am reliably
informed that this edition of Quintessence of the Loon is coming
out on the 40th anniversary of Chubby Checker first performing
The Twist on Dick Clark's American Bandstand. And you wonder
why we had to find some way to forget the 60s. Thanks, Tim.
(The Moody Blues, "In
Search Of The Lost Chord", "Legend of a Mind",
Ray Thomas. Yes, I do have a copy of it. On vinyl! The cardboard
slip cover has retained the smell of some burning vegatable.)