Quintessence of the Loon

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I'm sorry!Apology
Star Wars Surprise added 26 August 2000

I mentioned Yoda a few weeks ago, and I had no idea what I was doing. Please forgive me. How could I know? How could anyone know? I am terribly sorry if I have endangered your souls, but you can take comfort in the thought that I, too, have seen the evil Yoda. I apologise. The devil made me do it.

We share the concept of beauty with the AtlanteansThe Hidden Master added 26 August 2000
One of life's great worries is where to take your next holiday. All the traditional places are too expensive, too popular, or too much in the middle of civil unrest. The Hidden Master, however, has come to the rescue of vacationers everywhere by telling us about the wonders of Atlantis. None of your friends will have been there, so they will all look at your photos and videos and gasp at your souvenirs. Did you know that the Atlanteans wrote poetry? By the look of the tourist guide in the picture, they have a similar aesthetic sense to ours but I would check the guide books carefully to see what sort of clothes to pack. The guide might be wearing some kind of uniform like rent-a-car people and cabin crew do, or she may be showing how to dress formally for dinner with the Dolphiness of Quork. You would not want to over-dress for everyday occasions.

Now, that's how ladies should dress!Attire added 26 August 2000
Perhaps the reason Atlantis disappeared all those years ago was that the inhabitants did not dress properly. If what you see above is an example of the sorts of uniforms that the workers in the tourist industry wore, then it is no wonder that the wrath of !Keewwll! the Dolphin was brought down upon their heads. I like the female form as well as the next person does, but there are limits. If God had meant women to go around naked, He would have made sure they were born with no clothes on. I don't think it is always necessary to go to the extremes of covering up that you see in the picture, but modesty demands that some effort be made, and more effort is better than less. Of course, I don't recommend that women go around in those Talibanish bags with the little flyscreens to look out of. A man could take the wrong wife home from a party that way.

Unfortunately, this fine fashion site appears to have gone out of fashion, and its contents have been put in a wardrobe and forgotten PB October 2001

Grid your loins.Etheric Gridwork added 17 August 2000
It is quite clear to me that my body is made up of rectangular parts which vibrate. All these parts of me are projections of an external grid that hangs around a few inches (or about 2.54 few centimetres) outside my body. This must be so, because whales and dolphins have told us. As Nancy and Ariel say on this site: "We have found that when an individual reaches 1024 in ascension initiations, it is more apparent as to the degree or percentage of the gridwork that is missing by their ability or inability to hold their vibration. With this ability to observe the gridwork, it has come to the attention and examination of the Order of Rise. They have reviewed the implications of the incomplete gridwork and have created revised blueprints and holograms for the human template as well as all template." I could not have put it better myself.

Someone thteatened to sue!!!Reverse-Engineering Roswell UFO Technology added 17 August 2000
Here's the man who invented the PC. We all thought it was an abbreviation for "personal computer", but it seems it was actually short for "pattern creator". He also invented Windows, so it's all his fault, not Bill Gates'. Because he knows how hard it is to invent this technology, he knows how it must have been impossible for Shockley, Noyce and all those other people to have invented the transistor. They had help.

Not only did I get mail about this, but I was threatened with legal action! You can see see the sordid details here.
Lawyers (?) have appeared!! See the details here. PB 9/9/01

By the pricking of my thumbs ...Rainygirl's Wicca Page added 17 August 2000
There was this old crone who used to live a few houses away from me when I was young. Adults would warn us about talking to her, and people dropped their voices to a whisper when they walked past her house. She had a cat. My friends and I used to sneak up onto her veranda and peer through the windows. Dusty windows. Windows with cobwebs on them. Inside we would sometimes see her reading from a huge book by the light of a single large candle. Once, she looked at the window as if she could see us, and struck a single note on a large bell by her side. We froze in fear, then crept back to our homes. One day, she just disappeared. The body of her cat was found in her front yard, and my mother could not find our broom. Two days later, her house burned to the ground leaving behind only her rocking chair and a green shawl, untouched by the flames.

Rainygirl has vanished, leaving behind a faint mist rising from the warm earth. The candle on the floor gutters out as the last of the wick sinks into the molten wax. In the distance, a cat miaows ... PB October 2001

Loon of the Month

I am faced with a dilemma - a conflict between the heart and the head, between passion and reason. The heart says that Timothy Leary should win the award for Loon of the Month. Not only did he have a song written about him, but he managed to start a great Internet rumour about how he was going to die online. Also, people who followed his teachings are just the sort of people who, in later life, apply their remaining brain cells to making the sort of sites featured here. The problem is that Professor Leary was a professional loon. He did it for a living. I have decided, therefore, to award this month's garland to an amateur professor. Professor Cheng wants to start his own university to pass on his knowledge. This is far more quintessential than having a tenured position at Harvard.
I hope this doesn't say anything rude or offensive.Cheng Research Institutes added 12 August 2000
460 volumes! More books about philosophy than Karl Marx! A complete refutation of Darwin, and not that tired old creationist stuff but a real, scientific examination of the facts. More psychiatry than Freud (some would say that that's not too hard). Here is a site based on quantity, not quality. I like the idea of someone founding a university and filling the library with his own books. I like the idea of someone who can write hundreds of books about all areas of human study and interest. And to think that Dr Cheng was able to do all this while being tracked and persecuted by the CIA. I take my hat of to him. He probably won't take his hat off in return in case the satellites get to his brain.

No alien will come near you while you are wearing this. I guarantee it.Stop Alien Abductions added 12 August 2000

Dr Cheng's problems with the CIA reminded me that I had given instructions on how to make a mind-control-proof helmet in June. Here is another hat, but this one goes even further and protects you from being abducted by aliens. I note the good advice not to leave it in the closet because aliens have been known to look there and steal them. I must take them to task, though, for the incomplete instructions about how to modify the hat for comfort. It quite rightly says that you can punch some holes (but not too many) in it for ventilation. It should warn you to take the hat off first before you start work with the bradawl.

The square of the interest rate is equal to the sum of the squares on the chess board.Alternative Economics added 12 August 2000
Much has been said about alternative medicine. One thing that comes up in conversation about this is the dearth of other alternative disciplines such as engineering, law and physics. Oh, I know there are people who claim to have discovered the flaws in Einstein's theories or the rulings of various courts, but these people usually claim to be working within the system but in another paradigm. This is why I was so pleased to find that someone is proposing alternative economics. It is just too easy to suggest reform from within. It takes real courage to stand outside the mainstream and declare "You are all wrong. I am the alternative!". "Bravo!", I say. Throw away your currency and bank accounts. If you throw them to me, I will promise to dispose of these useless items in an ecologically-friendly way.

Imagine this slithering into your oasis.Serpente et Astrum Oasis - Ordo Templi Orientis added 5 August 2000
I had to wait until August to add this site because it was only on 30th July, 2000, that Serpente et Astrum was promoted from a Camp to an Oasis. I used to be in the French Foreign Legion where you could have a camp that was simultaneously an oasis and vice versa. The days of Fort Soixanteneuf are long behind me and I no longer have to eat gritty croissants and dried snails but the memories are flooding back. Not that there were many floods in the desert. But I digress ... This Oasis is just around the corner from where I live, and I am pleased to report that they "are currently chartered to initiate the Introductory Man of Earth Degrees from Minerval to IIIš degree". I was wondering how I was going to get that done. I am specially impressed by the upper limit of "IIIš degree" because I like my degrees with extra degree.

Yoda, yoda, yodaExtra
YodaJeff.com added 5 August 2000

Sometimes I feature something here just because it shows that someone has a magnificent obsession. This site has, among other things, 1000 (that's one thousand, or "M" for any Romans still reading) pictures of the creepy Yoda from some film or other. Feel the farce, Luke.

Who is this man?Timothy Leary added 5 August 2000
"Timothy Leary's dead. No, no, he's outside, looking in". If you can remember the band, the album, the song and the composer then you were probably paying attention in Dr Leary's chemistry classes. If you can remember being in those classes you probably weren't paying attention. Speaking of mind-blowing music, I am reliably informed that this edition of Quintessence of the Loon is coming out on the 40th anniversary of Chubby Checker first performing The Twist on Dick Clark's American Bandstand. And you wonder why we had to find some way to forget the 60s. Thanks, Tim.

(The Moody Blues, "In Search Of The Lost Chord", "Legend of a Mind", Ray Thomas. Yes, I do have a copy of it. On vinyl! The cardboard slip cover has retained the smell of some burning vegatable.)

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