Quintessence of the Loon

Previous monthNext monthNovember 2000

November 2000 also featured a special Quintessence of the Loon edition, "Play, Pay and Pray" to recognise the outer limits of religion

Fence post? Parcel post?Postal Inspectors On The Rampage added 28 November 2000
When public servants go bad. You thought that the postal inspectors were just there to keep the mail safe from money launderers, gun smugglers and drug and porn distributors, didn't you? Well, you were wrong. This secret police force, conceived in the devious mind of Benjamin Franklin, is a surrogate CIA/FBI/MI6/KGB hybrid, bent on destroying all the freedoms that make a democracy great. These people will leave things on your desk. They leave the milk out of the refrigerator. They loosen the caps on salt shakers. They leave the seat up. They hide your car keys. They go into libraries and rip the last pages out of Agatha Christie novels. They know where it's at, and they go there, and they get it. These are evil people. Do not be deceived.

A reconfigured realistic lens to the future.Extra
The Prophets Conference added 28 November 2000
Put this in your diary NOW! You must be in New York in May 2001 for The Prophets Conference. I can do no more than quote from the Conference Vision: "We will be looking at expanded states of consciousness and the uncommon knowledge and heightened awareness often obtained from them, and then look at the magnitude of the implications fostered by acknowledging them as true Gnosis. We will then explore their relevance to every area of life. The conference will also envision a deeper sense of Destiny at what appears to be a critical juncture in history, and assess avenues for imagining and reconfiguring Reality". Be there or risk missing out when reality gets reconfigured.

Too late! You've missed it. PB October 2003

This is where they come from!Cassiopaea added 28 November 2000
Do you ever listen to talk-back radio? Have you noticed how often it is that the people who call in are aliens? I know, you can't actually see them, it being radio after all, but a lot of them seem to be from some other place where thinking is different. Here's a site from someone who has had long conversations with aliens and continues to do so. This is really useful, because we need to know what the visitors think. For example, I would have thought that asking them if they liked Pink Floyd was just a conversation starter, but then they reply: "Absorb. We are Pink Floyd, and all other facets of your higher consciousness". What can I say? The lunatics are are in my hall. And stay out of Albuquerque.

Loon of the Month

This Loon of the Month thing gets harder all the time. I thought for a moment that I was going to be able to find out what "The Piper at the Gates of Dawn" was all about (both the Pink Floyd version and the chapter in The Wind in the Willows), but the Cassiopaeans were being their normal playful selves and avoided the question. I considered the postal inspectors for a moment, but then I got worried that they might rampage round to my place and move my potplant. Finally, the lure of the chromed horse and the cocktail circuit drew me back to the diplomatic corps. I can't wait until I get my red passport so I can park anywhere I like.
They're out there. Just be polite to them.The Center for the Study of Extraterrestrial Intelligence added 23 November 2000
Ever since I first heard Bob Dylan sing the words "You rode on a chromed horse with your diplomat, who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat", I have wanted to be a diplomat. Specifically, I have wanted the perks of diplomatic office, in particular the chromed horse and the cat. Now I find that someone is arranging for diplomatic contact with alien intelligences. This has got me really excited, because I've got a bit of spare time and I could do with a change of career. In fact, I'm so excited and enthusiastic that I will even bring my own cat. It's not Siamese (they call it Thailand these days), but we both love Thai food. I even mentioned that wonderful Thai resort Phuket the other day when I tripped over the cat. That must be an omen.

I couldn't hold a candle to this Teutsch.A.T.I.M. Academy added 23 November 2000
I never really believed in the idea that people could predict the future, but it looks to me like Mr and Mrs Teutsch definitely could, because they named their son "Champion". I don't think they were naming him after a spark plug, so the only reasonable explanation is that they foresaw his status as an adult - a true champion of the intellect. After all, how many other people can claim to have "developed a unique scientific approach to the solution of every kind of problem". That's "every kind of problem"! Not just the sort that the rest of us work on, but all of them! That requires another exclamation point!! I really like the way the acronym "ATIM" includes the initial letter of another acronym ("IDEAL"). That is always a problem worth solving.

It seems that the one problem that Champion Teutsch could not solve was how to keep his web site going. PB October 2001
Someone was not happy.

Subject: Who do you think you are?
Date: Thu, 8 Nov 2001 23:22:02 -0800

You are one of the most arrogant people I have ever I have ever experienced. Sitting on your thrown of self indulgent false righteousness. Passing judgment on what you obviously know nothing about. Publicly slandering people you have never met. You should check out the facts about people before slinging such uniformed falsehoods, you might learn something useful. I am talking about what you wrote about Dr. Teutsch. I am one of his many successful clients. He is a true Champion in every sense of the word. He has tens of thousands of successful clients from all walks of life. The website was not a big deal to him. He doesn't need it. He is more successful than you could fathom.

What's in a name - pay me and I will tell you!Extra
Zodiacal Zephyr: Acrophonology added 23 November 2000

Writing about Dr Teutsch's name reminded me that we all have names which mean something. Perhaps Champ's parents weren't psychic, but just wanted to give him a good start in life and make sure his energy was patterned correctly. I fed his name through the analyser here and got some wonderful banality back. When I tried my name, another all-purpose analysis arrived. Hmmmm? Is this like astrology? I wasn't about to pay to find out.

Don't put your hand in the microwave!Kirlian Photograpy (sic) added 17 November 2000
I hate having my photograph taken. In real life I am much younger and slimmer than I look in pictures. For example, women who chortle and guffaw when shown a photograph of me usually just giggle and snigger when presented with the real thing. I was enormously relieved, then, to find out that I could have my inner strengths revealed by this wonderful process of Kirlian Photography (or "photograpy" as it is spelled in the site title). It is even better that I can have my aura recorded as well. I suppose that there must be some connection or even correlation between my aura and my Kirlian discharges, but I will leave that area of research to the experts. I'm a bit worried about enhancing my aura too much, though, because I can't sleep with the light on.

Did the fourth horseman ride a pail horse?Adult Baby Diaper Club added 17 November 2000
First up, a confession. I've done some pretty crazy things in my time. There was that time Bob, Alan and I got together with some iguanas, a jar of mayonnaise, a box kite, a bottle of Smirnoff and a unicycle, but I digress ... The people who own this site are seriously weird and have even surprised jaundiced old me. That's "jaundiced" meaning "seen it all", not "jaundiced" meaning my liver has died from Smirnoff overload. But you knew that.

Wave at the pretty brain.Farwell Brain Fingerprinting added 17 November 2000
Here it is, folks. The answer to all that clutter and junk in your brain. Larry Farwell (late of Harvard) has developed a device to look at all those old brain waves and collect the good stuff so that you can throw the rest away. Just connect up to the electrodes, boot up the Pentium, and get ready to have a garage sale of all those ideas you don't need any more. Make some brain space so that you can finally read that copy of Proust that that old girlfriend of yours gave you once. What was her name again? Madeleine, wasn't it? Seriously, though, you should be careful using this machine around your significant other and life partner. There are things you did when young that are best left forgotten.

Phee, phi, pho, phum, I smell the blood of (what rhymes with "phum"?)Crystal Hill MultiMedia and School for Sacred Geometry & Coherent Emotion added 7 November 2000
I think I will let Dan speak for himself. How could I ever express myself more eloquently than this? "In 'consumed perspective' we each by mirroring our glimpse of the one fire, thru the many very much in phase facets of the insects eye - bring us closer to the moment of ritual called 'critical mass' for this lightning. The "many plumed ONE" returns. Indeed this principle of pure crystallization (Christos) called sharing among waves is returning ... on fire!". They just didn't teach writing like that when I went to school. Alas!

Dan Winter's domain has gone and taken his site with it. This could have something to do with a court case that you can read about here. PB October 2001

Goodbye. Sob! Lots of hugs!
Loving Soul: the OHC is closing, resting before reincarnation. added 7 November 2000
That's right, folks. Sadly, the Online Healing Circle is going into hibernation. The hugs have been given, and it is all over. Until next time. WOWOWOWOWOWWOWWWWWWWWWWWW!

It took a while after the initial announcement, but now it is really over. Just when I needed a hug, too.

Light blue touch spanner and stand well back!The Home of Primordial Energy added 7 November 2000
Everyone likes getting something for free. Everyone likes it when rich people get what is coming to them. When we can all get unlimited free energy then the fat cats at the oil companies and the electricity authorities will be looking for jobs. And will we give them jobs? Well, we might let them oil the bearings of our free-energy generators or carry the ice from our self-refrigerating refrigerators. We might even let them wash our cars. After all, when we don't have to pay for fuel, we will have lots of money left over. But something worries me. What if these free-energy machines get too efficient? It's all very well to get out more than you put in, but these machines are still at a primitive state of evolution. Primordial, in fact. Once the expert engineers work them over, it might be dangerous to be near one. They will have to have warning labels: "Use at own risk!" Things could get nasty. After all, "rotation of a material object introduces spatial anisotropy of inertial mass measurements into the spatial region surrounding the rotating object". Lock up your tool kit.

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