Quintessence of the Loon

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June is Conspiracy Month - see the 2001 collection here

Loon of the Month

Microsoft thought it had problems with the Department of Justice, Linux fanatics, virus writers, security hackers and more bugs in Windows 2000 than the number of people who remember being at Woodstock, but the campaign to ban Winmine must be almost the final straw. I asked Microsoft about it and they were horrified. Apparently you can get away with removing Solitaire (you will only lose networking and plug-and-play capability) but if you dump Minesweeper your machine may not even start.
Blow this program away!International Campaign to Ban Winmine added 28 June 2001
I've mentioned before about how good it is to see people addressing the real problems in the world. Here is another case - a campaign to remove the computer game Minesweeper from the millions of Windows computers that are infested with it. The campaign is going very well and several hundred computers have been disinfected already. I have a very strong personal interest in this campaign, for two reasons. The first is I feel sympathy for those people who have had all except one finger blown off and are forever condemned to using Macintosh computers with only one mouse button. The second reason is that I have never been able to figure out how to play the useless thing. Microsoft offered to sell me the VBMSDK (Visual Basic for Minesweeper Software Development Kit) for $699 but I thought that was too expensive, and the girl in the book shop giggled and ran away when I asked for "Minesweeper for Dummies".

I've heard it, but I don't believe it!Extra!
Bigfoot Recordings added 28 June 2001

That's right, folks. Roll up and get your genuine Bigfoot recordings with the actual sounds of a Bigfoot. Limited time only. Limited edition. The master tapes will be destroyed at the end of this production run. Buy three CDs and get a free set of steak knives.

Atlantis, right there near Indonesia.Math, Science, Education, Ancient Egypt, and Atlantis added 28 June 2001
I like a bit of mathematics. I don't always understand it, though. For example, how is it that no matter how much I add to my bank account, there's never enough in there? This site has been a great help, because it has introduced me to the number 360. It's very handy to know that this is almost exactly the number of days in a year, although I feel that if I built this number into my plywood and string SpaceHenge calendar I might miss some birthdays. It's also exactly the number of half-degrees between freezing and boiling points on the Fahrenheit scale, one fifth the number of cubic centimetres in my car's engine and the number of notes in 45 octaves. And this site has Atlantis, too! Between Darwin and Singapore! How convenient is that?

Perfect for desert feeding.The Ancient of Days: Deity or Manna Machine? added 28 June 2001
It must be difficult being God. All that omnipotence and omniscience and living for ever and having to be responsible for everything that's going on, and watching everything and doing it all by yourself. Then one day your chosen people abandon comfortable employment in Egypt and set off to wander around in the desert for forty years. During that time they expect to be fed and be given commandments and be shown the way by pillars of cloud and fire. Meanwhile, you're trying to stop Atlantis from running into Bali and working on evolving the platypus into something edible. They ask about food and you give them the quite useful answer that while in the desert they should avoid prawns and oysters (and platypuses) but they keep whinging. Just as you are about to give up, some ET salesmen drop in with a new manna making machine and some suggestions about commandment delivery systems. The rest is history.

The original site has disappeared. It was probably stricken by God for revealing His lack of omnipotence. You can read the author's story here. PB October 2001

June 21 2001 is a special day. It is the solstice, Mars is the closest to Earth it has been since 1988, and a total eclipse of the sun will occur. At one time, the Sun, Moon, Earth and Mars will be almost in a straight line. Strange days indeed. (The Sun, Earth and Mars were in a straight line last week.)

A picture of Gary's mind?Mars Revealer Presents: A Martian Revelation!! added 21 June 2001
Gary is the Martian Revealer! He can tell us things about the Red Planet that others can only dream about, and he is sure that we are going there real soon and he has plans for transforming the place to make it hospitable for us. I suspect, however, that Gary is not telling us everything. In fact, I think he may have a bit of Martian in him. He tries to throw us off the track by saying "The purpose of this web site is to help spread the awareness of the things that are really out there in space outside & away from our own planet. Any & all of the things you will see & read of in here is open to all observation", but there is a lot about this site that suggests that the intelligence behind it is not of this world. I think we have evidence of contact!

Get to the point!The Foundation Point: Pointing the way to the future added 21 June 2001
Here's someone who is going to rebuild Venus so that we can all live there when Mars and the Earth are full of people. Little things like it is too hot, the atmosphere will strip paint, it is too hot, there is no water, it is too hot and it is too hot will be overcome by the application of simple technology that can readily be obtained at the local hardware store. Maybe it's a bit more complicated than that, but it will be a lot less complicated than fixing pollution here on Earth and building more houses and farms. (Warning - this is a large (812K) Acrobat file. Be patient.)

To indicate the extent of the research I have to do for this site, put your cursor over the picture at the right and see something that appears on page 4 of the Foundation Point file. This would have been included here no matter what the rest of the thing said.

The file containing the magazine seems to have disappeared, so the link now goes to the main page of the site. They still want to colonise Venus. PB October 2001

A faked picture of the Mars Face made by NASA  to hide the truth.The McDaniel Report Newsletter added 21 June 2001,
I just went outside and looked up into the sky. Mars was directly above me (an advantage of being a Southern Hemispherian) and it looked so close I could almost see the Face. You can see by the picture at the right that the authorities are doing everything they can to cover up the truth of the Face. This site explains, among other things, how the photographs taken of the Face by the latest Mars surveyor were not revealed to the public. Anyone can see that this picture is not anything like the familiar Face we have been seeing since the 1970s. I know there have been rumours that someone sent rockets up there to blow the thing up and this is a photo of the rubble, but there is equally good evidence that the photographs that were released were of somewhere else. And what are we to make of the case of The Photograph Which Did Not Get Sent Back To Earth? Why just that one? What did it show? People? Bulldozer tracks? Campfire sites? Tennis courts? A marijuana plantation? We will never know

But ... these are GIRLS! (except for the one that's a boy)Petticoat Discipline Monthly added 14 June 2001
Sometimes it is hard to find the right words to describe a site. This is one of those occasions. I suppose I could say something funny about how "frilled" I was to find this site, how I was skirting around the issue, how you need to look underneath things to find the truth, how my tailor used to say "clothes make the man", and other pettiminded wisecracks. It is probably better to let the site speak for itself: "Petticoat Discipline is a 'time honored' technique designed to bring about a favorable change in the behavior of males of all ages who have displayed a tendency of having strayed off the beaten path, and who consequently are in need of correction. This correction is brought about, by encouraging the development of their inherent feminine characteristics". I can't dress that up any better.

The owner of this site has pointed out to me that the original caption for the picture was incorrect. It looked like two girls to me, but I guess the little boy on the left had well developed inherent feminine characteristics. PB November 2001

A piece of Gellerite. Lock up the cutlery!Crash Debris added 14 June 2001
While other people are arguing about the cover up of UFOs and the conspiracy to keep the details about ET visits and secret science from the public, there are at least some people out there doing the right thing. It's all very well to collect documents about visitations and interview all the abductees, but what is needed is a bit of professionalism in all this. Something that can raise the necessary cash to keep up the fight against government conspiracy and inertia and to pay for the essential research that will bring us the benefits of alien technology and philosophy. Anyone can have a piece of moon rock on the mantelpiece or hang some fossilised dinosaur coprolite around their neck, but here is the real thing - actual pieces of crashed UFOs. Fabulous. And it's called "Gellerite". Don't put it in the same drawer as the spoons.

Apparently the gellerite got too close to the web server and bent all the files. PB October 2003

Clear evidence of political activity.Gaiaguys added 14 June 2001
Some people have a problem with governments. Some people have a problem with police. It seems that the owners of this web site are the victims of a mass conspiracy of state, federal and local governments and bureaucracies, politicians from all political parties and the entire police force of the state from top to bottom. I didn't read it all, but perhaps the ambulance and fire services are part of the plot as well. Even local louts have been conscripted to get drunk on Saturday nights and knock over the complainants letter box. This is serious stuff. I didn't know all this was going on around where I live. The bright side is that if all the politicians are agreeing with each other and conspiring to knock over letter boxes they won't be hanging around my local shopping centre frightening babies.

Like it XOR not, this is a colourful picture.Astronumology Mathematics Syntax added 8 June 2001
It fascinates me how people can be so lucid when explaining complicated things. There are some areas of knowledge which are so complex that you wonder how anyone can understand them, let alone talk about them, but then an example comes along that shows that there really are people out there who not only know what they are talking about but can actually talk about it. Consider this: "An instance of a XORS Pomtudel Operator,in figure 3, is the classical astrological sextile relationship. The XORS Pomstruct operator is what an Astronumologist analysts does when considering these equations to produce a Result Attribute ; where a Result Attribute is the "meaning" that has been assigned to a given set of aspect equations. The subscripts of the letter R, which stands for the Result Attributes, is a particular Result Attribute. The superscript of the Result Attribute (R) indicates the philosophy of the analysis. In this way one can compare more than one "interpretation" of a given equation by different Astronumological phylosophies". And to think that some people wouldn't know a pomtudel if it bit them.

It looks like the result attribute of this site is now "null". PB October 2003

A portrait of someone's ancestor.The Gaiabella Project added 8 June 2001
Something which is always on the agenda at the Tribal Council meetings that I go to is the need to unite with other tribes for the benefit of the planet. It's all very well to each have our own hunting and dancing grounds, our secret rituals, our arcane body decorations and our rules about property and marriage, but without a planet to do these things on there is little to look forward to. Some small steps have already been taken, and, in fact, my cousin has married a descendant of Queen Wotawopatiti from the island across the nearby sea and they are planning to re-establish the traditional wind farm that generated clean green power in that land for, well, many generations. It is good to see that someone is formalising this communion of tribes and has the most important things done - a web site and a mailing list.

No doubt about this rocky angel.Planetary Headquarters added 8 June 2001
It's good to know that there is a headquarters for this planet. If you look in the paper or watch the TV news, you would think that nobody is running the place, so it is quite exciting to find that Caligastia, the Planetary Prince of Earth/Urantia, is out there with his hands on the levers. Of course, when I say that nobody is running the place I realise that this is only an illusion because there are any number of secret societies actually pulling the strings, but Caligastia has a focus and a single-mindedness that the Illuminati, the Masons or the Salvation Army can only wish for. When it comes to the final showdown, he will thwart the pretenders. He has the angels on his side.

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