of Prophecy, The Second Coming of Christ
added 30 November 2001
much talk during 1999 of the possibility of the return of Jesus
at the end of that year. Many were disappointed that He didn't make
a dramatic return, smiting evil hip and thigh. The problem was that
a lot of these people hadn't read the bits in the Bible where Jesus
says that nobody can know when He will return (Matthew 24:36,
Mark 13:32), so confidently predicting His arrival on New Year's
Day 2000 was probably not a wise idea. This site, however, indicates
that Jesus has in fact returned, but He has done it in a very low-key
way. It seems that He is being channelled through someone called
Williamson (I suppose that "Josephson" would have been
too obvious), but the real surprise is that He has decided to have
a free web site at Tripod. You would think that He would have His
own domain name at least, but perhaps there is no appropriate classification
or country level code for a supernatural person from Heaven.
World Championship Punkin Chunkin
added 30 November 2001
I ever miss this fabulous festival of flying fruit? I hope I can
get the time off from work next year, because I would love to dust
off the RatbagsDotCom trebuchet, rivet it to the roof of the Lexus
and head off for a weekend of gourd hurling. And this was the World
Championship, too, not just any old punkin chunkin.
To Sun: Word creations inspiring spiritual divine mastery
added 30 November 2001
is amazing. Have you ever noticed that some words contain letters
and letter combinations that are used in other words? Once you see
this, it is obvious that these words must be related, and it also
opens up the possibility of creating new words from the building
blocks exposed by this observation. As an example, I took the phrase "star
struck". The first word is obviously made up of the letter "s",
which is the same letter "s" as in the words "snake"
and "serpent" (as well as the word "sibilant"
that describes the noise they make, and it is the last letter of "reptiles")
and the word "tar" which refers to the Unix backup utility
program. The word "star" is therefore code for a compressed
collection of snakes, or, in the vernacular, a "can of worms".
It would be tempting to analyse "struck" in the same way
and get a vehicle for transporting snakes, but it's more complex
than that. In fact, you divide the word in half to get "str"
and "uck". The first set of letters is the same as the
start of the word "strumpet", which not only is obviously
related to "crumpet" (the Englishman's word for a female)
but contains the word "trumpet" which is part of the horn
section. Need I say more? The second part of the word just leads
to words ending in "uck", but I can't think of any word
like that which could have anything to do with strumpets.
EMF Balancing Technique® added 30 November
Electromagnetic forces are all around us.
Some scientists even argue that EMF is all there is. This is very
scary, as any newager or non-scientist realises, and we need all
the help we can get to avoid or resist these forces. Luckily, help
is at hand and we can learn to align and exploit the electromagnetic
forces within our own bodies to make things good again. All we have
to do is make sure that everything is working correctly within our
calibration lattice so that we can integrate spirit and biology.
This is a very powerful technique, but, like all powerful things,
care is needed in its use. The clue is in the word "balancing"
in the name of the technique. You have to carefully balance your
own EMF with that of other people and objects in the universe. I
forgot this once after a particularly forceful training session,
and when I tried to call a taxi to go home my mobile phone blew
up as soon as it entered my lattice.
Telepathic Communication added 25 November
I first learned about interspecies communication
when I broke my ankle in five places. (I will never go back to those
places.) I was laying in bed in a great amount of pain when I heard, "I
know we come from different cultures, and maybe you don't think
I can help you, but if you'll just pet me, I will take away your
pain." I heard these words in my head as clearly as someone
speaking to me. I opened my eyes to find a dolphin flopping on the
floor and looking right at me. I knew it was her. I did pet her
and my pain did go away! I slept comfortably for the first time
since the accident. I noticed that the dolphin was worse off than
me as she had no ankles at all, but I thought it would be impolite
to mention it.
The next week a cattle dog came in the mail and in its mouth
was the URL for a web site about communicating with animals. I couldn't
believe it. Someone else thought this was possible too! I sent for
the web site right away, and here it is.
I was surfing a perfect two-meter wave off Palm Beach when
I sensed a presence. A dolphin appeared next to me and twisted
and turned in synchronisation with the movement of my board.
I felt the words come into my head: "Check those broken
links". PB October 2003
Loon of the Month
|I was walking
through the Sydney Botanical Gardens the other day when
I heard a flapping sound. I looked up to see an animal resembling
a witch's cat moving from tree to tree on leather wings
like a creature from the pit. I could smell brimstone. It
must be more pleasant among the angels in Melbourne.
of the Botanic Gardens added 25
Australians will be aware
of the intense rivalry between the cities of Sydney and
Melbourne. I live in Sydney, and nobody disputes the facts
that here we have the best harbour in the world, the best
looking Opera House, the best Gay Mardi Gras and the best
(empty) Olympic facilities. I must admit, however, that
I like Melbourne. The city has an antique grandeur that
is missing in the brashness of the Emerald City. It has
excellent restaurants and shopping, and it is much easier
to drive around in once you figure out the lunatic method
of turning your car in front of the trams. This site shows
us another major difference between the two places. There
are angels in the Botanic Gardens in Melbourne. In Sydney
we have fruit bats.
[There seems to be a little confusion on this site
about what things are called. The picture of the angel has
the file name "b_east", and the sound file named "cannon"
contains Pachelbel's Canon, not the 1812 Overture.]
sitegoauide for pietje precies pun dotery
added 25 November 2001
no idea! You will have to work this one out for yourselves. I tried,
I really did, but it looks like even the site owner has given up.
Greatest Medical Secret added 25 November
Even though I have a set of
Alex Chiu's Immortality Rings and will probably live forever,
I am still conscious of the mortality of the people around me. That
is why I am attracted to this site which tells me, and I quote,
how to "fight death". When I was very young, my apple-cheeked
old grandmother used to tell me that nobody respected anyone who
had a dirty mouth. I don't think that this web site was what she
was talking about, but it certainly reminded me of her admonitions.
I must say that people have it a lot easier these days, because
it must be much more pleasant to cleanse your mouth with a citric
acid douche than with a cake of soap. (Unless, of course, it's
Dr. Bronner's SUPERMILD 18-in-1 Hemp ALOE VERA BABY-MILD PURE-CASTILE
SOAP.) I've even got a recipe here somewhere for a citric
acid mouthwash. Let's see - tequila, triple-sec, lime and lemon
juice, ice, salt around the glass. Wastin' away ...
I don't usually carry advertising here, but this is something that
I am really excited about. No, I haven't gone over to the dark side
and joined a pyram..., sorry, multi-level marketing scheme. The
Australian Skeptics have produced a CD which contains all the content
from their magazine over the last twenty years, plus a couple of
books. This is like a history of the skeptic movement and covers
the progression of matters which have interested skeptics over the
years. (Oh, all right - there are two articles by me in there. I
don't know how they got through the first nineteen years without
Geomancy added 17 November 2001
I'm annoyed. When my house was built, the architect thought he could
do it all himself and he didn't get a professional geomancer in
to work on the labyrinth design. This has left us with a dwelling
which lacks a bit of sacredness, although it is a very impressive
labyrinth down there and the neighbourhood kids just love spending
weeks lost in it. The real problem is bureaucratic, however, because
we don't have the right certification. We have the plans for all
the other services. There's the plan of the water and sewerage services
and we had a dowser in to give us a good ley line diagram. I didn't
know there was anything missing until we tried to sell the house
and there it was on the agent's check list, right between "gas
reticulation diagram" and "pest inspection certificate"
- "labyrinth layout diagram". We have to get a licensed
geomancer in and it's terribly expensive to do it after the house
is built because of the maze of twisty little passages.
The Original World Famous Home Appliance Shooting
Page added 17 November 2001
Come on, admit it! You've all wanted to do it. Who hasn't had the
desire (even the need) to off some recalcitrant machine?
- pipe dream or possibility? added
17 November 2001
Homeopaths tell us that water
has a memory. It now seems that the clay used to make pottery may
also have a memory, this time for sounds. This is a very exciting
discovery, because one of the unanswerable questions in anthropology
and linguistics is "How did they pronounce that?" What
we get may be limited, but there wasn't that much on the Rosetta
Stone either. Even if we can get only a few words of the Persian
Potters' Patois (also known as Crockery Creole) we will have a window
back into the past that is closed to us now. Apparently the sound
information is stored in microscopic cracks in the baked clay, which
is why this new discipline has been given the name "crackpottery".
UFOlogy added 17 November 2001
The signs were always there. Women dancing without moving their
arms. Foaming black beverages where the bubbles go down as well
as up. An obsessive desire to migrate and become police officers.
Talk of "little people" and "the gift". Snakeless.
Well, now we have an explanation - Ireland is a hotbed of UFO activity
and alien visitation. You would dance funny, too, if you had just
been probed and implanted, and what better way to achieve power
than to infiltrate the police forces of major cities? The litttle
people are grey coloured and the gift is telepathy. Every alien
I have ever met has been partial to a meal of reptile (except the
ones who landed in Iceland, who preferred auks) and the collapse
of the Irish snake herds was due to over-hunting. (This was surprising,
as most aliens come to warn us of environmental problems.) The bubble
thing is the easy one - gravity was different where Guinness was