Quintessence of the Loon

Previous monthNext monthJune 2002

June is Conspiracy Month in memory of archübermegaloon, Earl Gordon Curley, who failed to predict his own death despite being the world's greatest psychic.

26 June 2002, Kooks Day, was chosen to launch the
Earl Gordon Curley Memorial Echelon Page
Click here to see it

It's the truth - no site with a blue background id untrustworthy.Did the US Government Develop the AIDS Virus? added 26 June 2002
What a silly question. Of course it did. There were just so many people who needed killing that the government had to find a way, and what better way than a disease? And a very useful disease it is too, because you can test it out on gay men until there aren't any of them left, and then you can call it "smallpox vaccine" and use it to kill a few million people in Africa, and Henry Kissinger will write about it in a secret document, so secret that people with radio stations can just ring up and get a copy, and then you can spend billions of dollars pretending to find a cure while all the while just making the pharmaceutical companies rich. Are Microsoft and the Masons in there somewhere?

Bill Gates is a SATANIC worshiper added 26 June 2002

Speaking of Microsoft... Did you know that the Bible mentions the word "windows" eight times, but the only time it includes the word "carbuncle" is in Isaiah 54:12, which says "I will make thy WINDOWS of aGATES, and thy GATES of carbuncles"?

I really hated the genital probe when it happened to me.Freedom Isn't Free added 26 June 2002
The people in my street used to laugh at one of my neighbours because of his tinfoil wallpaper. We would rarely see him outside because he couldn't go very far from his house before the rays got to his brain, even through his industrial-strength steel wool baseball cap with the titanium beak. We would sometimes go around for a beer (always in bottles, never in cans), but I remember one disastrous day when someone brought some cashew nuts without going through the bag first to pick out the ones with the radio transmitters in them and great sparks arced off the walls like they do when you put your loose change in the microwave. Well, nobody's laughing now that we have heard that he is due for some compensation from the government for all the experiments they did on where his brain used to be.

A very good year for space travel.Project 1947 added 26 June 2002
It was the anniversary this week of the first flying saucer sightings, when Kenneth Arnold saw those famous shapes flitting across the sky. Since then much has been written, but not too much. Mystery still surrounds the history of flying saucers and the part they have played in the development of science and society since 1947. We still do not know the truth, because if we did we would surely be shocked at the extent of the cover-up. Evidence of the cover-up is, of course, that even after all this time we can find no evidence of the cover-up except for the denials of a cover-up, denials which can only reinforce the strength of the evidence. After all, if conspirators are doing their job properly, nobody else will know about the conspiracy. Nobody can prove this one, so it must be a very good one to have lasted so long.

In Dallas. At Watergate. Monica Lewinski's godfather?Watergate - Confession to Conspiracy added 19 June 2002
This week marks the 30th anniversary of the Watergate break-in, and what better time to revisit that story to see what we have not yet been told? It must be obvious to all that there are still secrets about this incident, because governments were involved. What was being covered up must have been very serious for the rulers to sacrifice a President, and they didn't even have to use a trick cigar with a microphone in it. So what was being hidden, too terrible for even Richard Nixon to use to defend himself. Why, the link to the Kennedy assassination, of course. Is it any surprise that the people who had killed one President were prepared to get rid of another? You've heard the expression "New World Order", haven't you. And you've heard of the book "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley? What was the name of the world ruler in the book? Who replaced Nixon? A coincidence? I think not. (Huxley also wrote "The Doors of Perception". Now you know why Jim Morrison was murdered.)

Fuel from Burning Water added 19 June 2002

What collection of conspiracies would be complete without a suppressed, water-fuelled car? Here is one. Never buy petrol again.

Loon of the Month

Competition was always going to be tough for Loon of the Month. There's David Icke, there's SOLLOG, and there's Kerry Thornley, but the garland goes to Tony Bushby. Who would ever have thought that the churches had been hiding the truth about Jesus all these years?
Finding out the truth certainly made me cross!The Bible Fraud added 19 June 2002
What story could be better known in western society than the story of Jesus? There it is, set out in the New Testament, told to every child who ever went to Sunday School, preached weekly from countless pulpits, an integral part of our consciousness, believer or not. But, what if it were not true? What if there was a secret plan by the very churches who distribute the Bible and quote its words to hide the truth from us all. What if the Bible does not contain the real story of Jesus? At last, all can be revealed. All the Christian churches are part of a great conspiracy to get us to believe in a false Bible. They know the truth, but they believe that we cannot handle the truth. Surely this must be the greatest cover-up of all time.

Whose gold is it, anyway?DeepBlackLies added 19 June 2002
There is a lot of money in the world. Someone must be controlling all this money, but who could these controllers be? I know I am not one of them, otherwise I would know where my money was and what it was doing. If I was in charge, my money would not be able to hide from me and run away. But I digress ... It may be obvious that someone is controlling the world's money, but the real question still remains - who is controlling the controllers? It would just be too easy for governments to manage their currencies but that cannot be allowed, for there are secret, shadowy organisations which need to be able to control governments. How better to do this than through a parallel economy, secretly managing the price of gold in order to finance secret activities. Oh, the governments think that they are really running these secret slush funds, but we know better, don't we?

The calendar proposed by Pope Jacaranda III to confuse the OcelotsIlluminati - 666 added 13 June 2002
It is strange that the name of the greatest secret conspiracy of all time should be so well known, and that so much should be written about it. Well, it would be strange if you didn't know how things work. You see, in the conspiracy world, things are not always as they seem. Actually, they are never as they seem. If something is announced and made public, that is because it is what the rulers want you to hear, and what they want you to hear is never the truth. If you read something about the Illuminati it will be censored and will have been approved for publication by the central committee. That is how we work. Oh, my Lucifer, did I type "we"? Now my backspace key doesn't work. I will get into big trouble over this. If I am not here next week, don't ask too many awkward questions.

Health Freedom Resources - Microwave ovens added 13 June 2002

Did you know that the governments of the world have colluded with the electronics companies to suppress information about the dangers of microwave ovens? And why is there no microwave refrigerator that can cool a carton of beer down to drinking temperature in a few seconds? It's probably been suppressed too.

No lesbians here!Lesbian Studies Institute added 13 June 2002
It's only a bit over 100 years since New Zealand and Australia started the rot by allowing women to vote, and now they are everywhere. Flying planes, writing books, selling real estate, driving cars, delivering pizzas, conducting orchestras. When will it all end? It is just as well that we have places like the Lesbian Studies Institute to warn us of the potential horrors to come and to speak out against the conspiracy not just of women but of lesbians to take over and dominate our society through the imposition of a matriarchal hegemony. We need to protect ourselves against this deluge of womanism. Perhaps we should build dykes to keep out the flood. Wait a minute! That doesn't sound right ...

Pope Gregory's dragon, who ate the calendar.Antichrist, 666, and the Harlot Church Dressed in Purple and Scarlet added 13 June 2002
Conspiracies come and go, but there is a certain magnificence to a conspiracy that has been around for almost 2000 years. The amazing thing about this conspiracy is that it has millions of followers yet nobody knows its secrets. There are some wonderful aspects to this conspiracy. First of all, it has a secret headquarters with a mysterious name which, if you look at it sideways and squint a little, could mean "prophecy of the old hag". It has books written in a secret language which is not spoken in any country today, and if you take the Greek word for speakers of that language and apply a special formula you get "666", the number of the conspirator. Not only that, but the boss of the outfit doesn't even use his real name. Given another 2000 years, they could take over the world.

We have mail!
Someone with a ridiculous quack medical device told me that this site is ridiculous and that I have emotional problems. Read about it here.

What's behind this badge? Surely not just a shirt.Seebo SEE Beyond the Obvious added 5 June 2002
The name of this site says it all. The trouble with the world today is that people fail to look beyond the obvious explanations for things. I blame this all on William of Ockham and his razor. If he had been content to grow a beard then people wouldn't be looking for the simplest of answers to problems and situations. I know he did it to impress the ladies, but he didn't have to go completely bald-faced. He could have trimmed it back to a glamorous stubble and we would now be able to apply Ockham's Scissors to things and therefore be able to include a few more assumptions whenever necessary. After all, the word "scissors" is plural, unlike the singular "razor". It would have been even better if he had covered his face completely and then we could have Ockham's Visor, which would allow us to always assume that much was hidden.

David Icke, Arizona Wilder, Credo Mutwa and The Biggest Secret added 5 June 2002

Poor David Icke thought he was exposing the truth, but it looks like he may have been compromised by a mind-controlled CIA spy. Surely the name "Arizona Wilder" should have been a clue. Just think about where the atom bombs were tested. In secret.

I've never seen anything more atom bomb looking in my life!Government Secrets added 5 June 2002
If the government can hide a nuclear explosion from everyone, what else can they hide? Luckily, someone inside NASA could not be bought off (probably the same person who leaked the "face on Mars" photographs), and so we have a photograph which provides incontrovertible proof that atmospheric testing is still going on. But perhaps it wasn't a test ... What if it was the government blowing up someone for disagreeing with the world rulers. After all, nothing disappears anyone quite as completely as an atom bomb does. The beauty of it is that it is hard to not hit the dissident if you vaporise his entire suburb. The people in the next town might wonder where the big, glowing, smoking hole came from and why their dogs are growing beaks like pelicans, but if they are smart enough they will not ask any questions. They don't want to hear the missiles being lunched.

Some people have a wilderness in their heads.From The Wilderness added 5 June 2002
Once upon a time, it was easy being a dissident. You just had to run off some pamphlets on the Roneo machine, hand them out at the bus stop and then get followed by men in trench coats. Your phone was tapped, of course, and the two hookers who worked the corner outside your apartment block were CIA and FBI spies (that's why there was always two of them), but everyone knew his or her place. Occasionally, the men in trench coats would invite you back to their office for a bit of rubber hose work, but things were generally good-natured. There were rules. Things are different now. Now people hack your web site, presumably to insert material that makes you look like a barking kook, and, even worse, they have you in their Outlook address books so that when they get viruses in their computers, the computers use your email address to send viruses to the President. Where will it all end?

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