Quintessence of the Loon

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A collection of ancient sailng tackleMetaSyn Media Master Access added 31 July 2002
When I was young, I had a neighbour named Mr Chandler. Nobody ever knew his first name, or where he came from. He believed that his choice of career was predestined by his name so he had a shop selling bits of sailing boat rigging and, when asked, would say "A Chandler must chandle". As we lived 800 kilometres from the sea business was not brisk, but he made enough money to indulge his one vice. Every Friday afternoon he would lock up the shop and go to the local hotel, where he would consume exactly one dozen beers, never more or less. His progress back to the shop afterwards was known to one and all as "Chandler's Wobble". I had almost forgotten Mr Chandler until I came across this site. Did I mention that he used to tell us small children that one day the ice caps would melt, the world would shift on its axis, and the ocean would come right up to his shop so that sailors could tie up out the front while they bought shackles?

Oprah Winfrey, This Is Your LAST Chance! added 31 July 2002

Watch out Oprah, and you too, Gates! How many warnings do you need? Repent!

A wise man who is still around somewhereThe International Survivalist Society added 31 July 2002
When the RatbagsDotCom sites disappeared because the web site hosting organisation went broke, my mind naturally turned to the prospect of life after death. I was very pleased to find that there is scientific proof of an afterlife. What made it doubly pleasing was the idea that if something as complicated as a human consciousness or soul could carry on without a body to live in, then a simple little web site should be able to transcend hostlessness as well. It wasn't as simple as it looked, though, and while there is a certain resonance between the way souls survive disembodied in the aether and ex-websites hang around in Google, eventually webmasters have to find another computer somewhere to put things in. I think I will approach the ISS for some research funding.

What a cute little tam o'shanterExtra!
Clifford's Cat Hats added 31 July 2002

Got cats? You need hats.

A Sumerian adoption transactionZecharia Sitchin added 23 July 2002
Here's one in the eye for those evolutionists who reckon that Darwin was right and we all came from micro-organisms and apes. Even better, here's the refutation of the creationist nonsense that some God made us. Both sides are wrong. Not only are the people arguing about human origins wrong, but so are the historians who claim to dispassionately look at the evidence of past communities and civilisations. All wrong. Hopelessly wrong. How can all these people continue to deceive themselves and us when there is incontrovertible evidence that everything came from the twelfth planet? (Did I mention that astronomers are wrong too?) Once you see that Stonehenge, Sumer and Tiahuanacu lie at the corners of a triangle everything else is obvious. Argument with the facts is pointless.

The Gilroy Garlic Festival added 23 July 2002

Do not forget this fabulous festival of flatulence and fragrance, fondly founded by the followers and fans of this fine and feisty flower. Enjoy!

Loon of the Month

You just have to respect those Catholics. Most conspiracy theorists blame the Jews for things, but now it seems that even they are under the control of Rome. I mentioned this when I had an audience with the Pope once, but he just replied with an old Polish folk tale about a farmer, a pumpkin, a crow, a water cistern, and the feast of Saint Malaprop.
What a nasty unamerican Pope this is.Pax Americana Equals Pax Romana!! added 23 July 2002
Bing Crosby won hearts and minds with his portrayal of Father O'Malley, the archetypal dedicated parish priest. Priests Daniel and Philip Berrigan helped create the beginning of the end of the Vietnam war. Cardinal Karol Wojtyla became Pope and within a few months inspired the movement that led to the collapse of communism. Singers Sister Janet Mead and Soeur Sourire had us bopping to The Lord's Prayer and Dominique respectively. All smokescreens. All just attempts to hide from us the awful truth that Rome was running the USA by appointing presidents and everyone else that mattered. And what about those Catholic German Samaritan Jews, the Warburgs?

No rows of desks in this school - just rows of rowersJohn Taylor Gatto - Challenging the Myths of Modern Schooling added 23 July 2002
Schools and teachers feature strongly in popular culture. There are the dedicated teachers in films like To Sir With Love and Goodbye, Mr Chips, the imparting of truth and wisdom seen in the Harry Potter books and Dead Poets Society, and who could forget the values of education so poignantly displayed in Blackboard Jungle and The Belles of St Trinians? Now we find that all this is deception. Schools are just there to brainwash children, to make them pawns in some master plan to supply industry with slave labour and mindless consumers. The thing that amazed me most was that schools were only invented in the 20th century. It's just as well that Henry VI is dead, or he would be wondering what he had been doing in 1440 starting a school at Eton.

The wall draws our attentionEcclesiastes :: The Segregated Fields added 17 July 2002
Everyone has heard the expression "the walls have ears". Well, here is evidence that walls can have much more than that. Not only do they spy on us and act as agents for mysterious entities, governments and corporations, but they can carry messages which affect our gestalt and effect our enslavement. Hidden symbols abound, and even change over time to increase the subtle influence on our minds. Ribald thoughts are implanted in us, causing us to think about sex whenever we see a municipal building. It is scary. To protect the author from being exposed and disappeared, this site employs a complex system of serendipitous navigation. Keep clicking on links and you will be continually surprised.

GNOOMY® - Magic Of Stone Power added 17 July 2002

If you have a mobile phone, you need one of these. You will not be embarrassed using your phone on the bus. Don't forget the Gnoomy2 for your computer.

A rounded database of required mentationZero Point Physics, Vacuum Energy, Scalar Physics added 17 July 2002
The fundamental sciences which define and describe our existence are physics, theology and economics. During a week when the world's stock markets were twitching and analysts were predicting a financial Armageddon, it was good to come across this site which revealed how physics, particularly it seems the sort of physics which can give us free energy and power our flying saucers, has predicted that the end times will come with the collapse of the Japanese economy. Be afraid, be very afraid. Lock up your pension funds. Ignore what you have seen while using your time machine, unless you have seen the rounded database for correct and effective thought in terms of reality.

The BraBall and Big Giant Bra Ball added 17 July 2002
Imagine someone collecting thousands of bras and making a big ball out of them. Imagine another person doing the same thing. Imagine them fighting with each other over the idea.

Movement and stasis along the developmental whateverSpiral Dynamics added 17 July 2002
The human mind is a mysterious place, and the ways that we perceive and interact with the world make up a rich field for psychological exploration. It is not often that the paradigm shifts as a Freud, a Jung, a Neisser, a Skinner comes along to make us think anew about the mental processes that drive our behaviour and define our humanness and the sweet paradox that makes us at once both unique individuals and members of a collective group. Clare Graves was another such pioneer, and has there ever been a better description of the human condition than "Movement and stasis along the developmental Spiral - either up or down - are reflections of the interaction between Life Conditions (the conditions-without which combine the historic times, physical place, psycho-social existence problems, and socio-economic circumstances) and the Memes accessible in the individual or collective mind (the systems-within). Generally, the evolution is toward more elaborated, more complex and inclusive ways of being - "higher" levels. However, life is without guarantees and there can also be regressions to previous, less complex, "lower" level structures. In either case, the active Memes are the containers for ideas and the essence of value systems, weltanschauuns, and the many "real" worlds that exist in parallel - sometimes in conflict, sometimes in confluence - on earth today"?

One wonders wonderfullythe 111 experience of J'lahn added 7 July 2002
Could there be a more perfect number than 111? Whichever way you look at it the mysteries remain. Upside-down, backwards or mirror-reversed it maintains its purity of form. Add the numbers together and you get 3 - the number of digits in 111. Multiply the digits and, no matter in which order, you get 1, the fundamental digital component of 111. Taken as a binary number it means 7, which if you multiply by 111 then subtract 111 gives 666 (the last three digits on Bill Gates' Visa card). Take one of the "6" digits from the last calculation, insert it within 111 and you get 1611, the year that the Bible was published. Add one of the "6" digits to 111 and you get 711, the sign of eternal opening hours. And don't be fooled by the tale that "www" stands for "world wide web". Just listen carefully to yourself when you sound out "1 1 1" and you will know the real meaning of the Internet.

The owner of this site has written to me. You can see his words here.

Pharmaceutical composition containing cow urine distillate and an antibiotic
added 7 July 2002

I know you were all waiting for this medical breakthrough. This is what cows were invented for.

Round like a spiral, like a wheel within a wheelAustralian Gravitational Space Propulsion Research Innovations added 7 July 2002
I like a good invention, especially if it overturns the orthodoxy of hide-bound science and exploits the secret knowledge of how the universe really works when it is not hiding reality from us and pretending that there are rules. Rules made by men can be broken by men. It is an amazing breakthrough to discover that rotational motion can be converted into linear motion. Oh, yes, we all know about pistons that go up and down and how that up and down gets turned into round and round by a crank, but it takes a true genius thinking outside the cylinder to go the other way and turn round and round into up and down. Or in and out, for that matter.

A machine even smaller than a soccer fan's brain.The World Cup Conspiracy added 7 July 2002
The Coliseum in Rome was built to control the populace by giving them bread and circuses so that they wouldn't notice the corruption, nepotism and all-round badness of the world rulers of the time. A couple of millenniums later, not much has changed except that now the world rulers can inject their subjects with tiny robots before letting them into the stadiums and arenas where the circuses are held. Millions of people, nay, billions are forced to watch on television as men with only one name and men with strange hair run around giant antennas in some Asian place for hours until the viewers' minds are so numb that they will accept that the fate of nations can be decided by a "golden goal" and that the person making that "goal" should be paid vast amounts of money for scoring a single point in what some call a sporting contest but which other people call "soccer". Stronger evidence for mass mind control would be hard to find.

A balloon after a long trip.Steve Fossett and Wallace Weaving added 7 July 2002
Here's something unusual - people without web sites get a listing. Both have, however, exhibited a magnificent obsession of world record quality. Steve Fossett has just become the first person to fly solo around the world in a balloon. (Jealous pedants have been pointing out that he just floated around the bottom half - so what?) It was his sixth attempt and, as a fitting finale to the venture, he ended up in some remote part of Australia where there was nobody to take a photograph. Wallace Weaving achieved fame by travelling by train through all 173 stations in the Sydney, Australia, suburban network in 16 hours and 19 minutes. Everyone knows that their own bank, ISP, lawn, traffic and public transport service are the worst there is, and Sydneysiders are in awe of anyone who can get to more than one or two stations in a day. Quintessence of the Loon salutes these heroes for their achievements at useless but entertaining activities. It was really nice that both chose 19th century forms of transport for their projects.

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