Poor Alex Jones needs some encouragement after the events of 2019. He was ordered to pay damages to the parents of the children murdered at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in December, 2012. "Why should he pay damages when he didn't do the shooting?" you ask. "How much did the gun masturbators at the NRA have to pay?" you ask. Well, Jones was one of the leading campaigners claiming that the atrocity was a "false flag" operation run to get stricter gun controls. He declared that the children in the pictures were actors. He accused the parents of lying about even having children, let alone murdered children. At the time, people described him as "pond scum" and "a turd", terms which are highly derogatory to both pond scum and sewage.

The next time someone plans a school shooting I would hope they contact Jones first, because I would encourage him to act as a human shield to protect the kids. After all, if these events aren't really mass murders and nobody ever really gets shot he won't be in any danger, will he? And his hide is probably bulletproof anyway.