Comment and Opinion

Self Made Life

It's not a pyramid. No, it really isn't. (27/6/2015)
You don't often see advertisements for pyramid schemes, sorry, network marketing opportunities on television, but my TV has been polluted with this dross for the last few weeks.

Oh, look, it's an opportunity. But you can only find out the details by telling them lots of things about yourself.

Oh, look. There is a product, although you have to register to find out the details. It is almost redundant to say that the television advertisement shows people sailing on a luxury yacht, driving an (implied) expensive car on a perpetual vacation, and playing on the beaches of the world. (I have heard the expression "walking the beaches of the world" in presentations for at least three different pyramid scams.)

So let's play Pyramid Scheme Bingo:

• The word "opportunity" comes before any details
• Lots of personal details required to find out more
• Unspecified product
• Appeal to people wanting "a better life"
• Testimonials from anonymous winners
• Praise – "You're smart. You're successful"
• "Life you deserve"
• "Executive income from home"
• You get that income FAST, "Not two or three years down the track. Tomorrow!"
• "More money than you ever thought possible"
• Promotional material suggests eternal vacation, not working.
• But why go on?

There's a dreadful sameness to all these pyramid schemes. I would almost bet money that this crowd have get-togethers named "Super Saturday" and have levels of participation named after jewellry.

Now we'll get on to the fine print.

I'll analyse that for those who might be unfamiliar with the language of pyramid scheming. My comments are in italics.

Income Disclaimer

All information is provided free.

For certain values of "free". Something will have to be paid before the full story is revealed.

Income represented is not guaranteed in any amount for any participant and will vary with each individual.

Get-out clause Number 1 – you might not succeed like the winners in the testimonials.

No person earns income by solely enrolling others into the program.

Obligatory statement included at the insistence of lawyers to bypass the black-letter legal definition of a pyramid scheme. What's that old saying about duck-shaped things that waddle and quack?

Results of participants and experiences shared may be unique to the individuals sharing and should not be taken as assurances of success.

Get-out clause Number 2 – you might not succeed like the winners in the testimonials.

Results of participants may vary.

Get-out clause Number 3 – you might not succeed like the winners in the testimonials. It can't be said often enough – just ask the company's lawyers.

Pyramid schemes are a form of barely legal theft. Not only do the operators steal money from participants but they steal self respect, family life and dreams. It's just a pity that legislators can't seem to write effective legislation to drive these parasites out of society.