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The illustration is "The Vampire" by Edvard Munch. (Click on the picture to see a larger version.)

This site was Highly Commended in the 2002 Millenium Awards.

The Medical Escrow Society
(The name of the organisation has changed since it was first listed here.)

[This execrable site disappeared in mid-2010. They probably weren't getting enough business following the welcome death of not-a-medical-Dr Hulda Clark in 2009.]

Sick? Got insurance? If you have, The Medical Escrow Society will help you by buying your insurance policy so you can pay your quackery bills. Worried that there might not be anything left over to leave to the kids? Forget them! Where were they when you were getting cancer? Out having grandchildren, I suppose.

There is an old saying: "You can't take it with you". Most people realise this, and are quite happy to leave their worldly possessions behind for the benefit of their heirs. Many people buy life insurance so that their children will not be left destitute and all the bills can be paid. Many people also just like to think that their children will have a better life than they had, and the inheritance is a final gift towards that better life.

The Medical Escrow Society has a different maxim: "You won't need it after you've gone". Their business is to buy life insurance policies (at a discount of course) so that elderly or sick people can pay their medical and quackery bills. I found them through not-a-medical-Dr Hulda Clark's web site, and although not-a-medical-Dr Clark said that she had no relationship with them they were quite keen at the time to announce a relationship with her. After all, her patients are just the desperate sort who might sell their children's inheritance to pay for that one last trip to Tijuana. Times change, however, and now there is no mention of the escrow parasites on the Clark site and no link back. I don't believe this is because of any sudden rush of principles on either side and the vultures are still offering affiliation and commission, so I can only guess that books and zappers pay better.

The interesting thing about this scheme is that the sicker the patient is, the better it is for the policy vampires. Sick people don't live for long, so the returns are much quicker. That is why the Medical Escrow Society specialises in "helping" people with AIDS and cancer. Desperate people with not long to live are a good actuarial risk if you are the one doing the collecting. As they say in the page title: "Viatical and Senior Settlement: Financial option for anyone facing HIV, AIDS, Cancer, Terminal Illness, ALS, Heart Disease, Alzheimers and Seniors over 70 to liquidate life insurance".

It is probably advisable that the operators of the Medical Escrow Society should avoid not-a-medical-Dr Clark. She claims that all diseases are caused by parasites and she has this machine called a "zapper" which kills parasites. If there is even the remotest possibility of her "treatments" coming true, people from the Medical Escrow Society should stay away for fear of being struck down dead as they enter her door.

Robbing the almost dead (20/7/2002)
Imagine how you would feel if you were selling a fake cancer cure and you came across a suitable prospect who met the main marketing criteria - terminal and desperate - but they didn't have enough money to buy your product or service. Unlike, say, a car dealer, you can't introduce them to a finance company for a loan because the financier might not think they will live long enough to pay the money back. You could get them to sell their house, but that takes time. Help is available, however, if they have a life insurance policy, because they can sell that to pay your quackery bills. This is very encouraging news for quacks because not only can they have the satisfaction of achieving the primary objective (stealing all of someone's money before they die), but there is the bonus of being able to get their hands on money that comes along after the death of the "patient". You can read some more about this disgusting scam here.

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