Brevity, the soul of wit (6/6/2020)
Very brief update this week. It's a holiday long weekend and we have just been released from COVID-19 travel restrictions, so I'm off the celebrate a family birthday with members of my family who live several hundred kilometres away.
Scammers gotta scam, thieves gotta thieve (6/6/2020)
Last month I mentioned action that had been taken in the US and Australia against a fake church that sells bleach to cure COVID-19, among almost all other medical conditions known to mankind. The Australian branch of the "church" was fined $151,200, which they have chosen not to pay, instead advising sick people to "pray to the Lord for healing and guidance".
The Therapeutic Goods Administration has decided that it won't be ignored this time and has initiated court action against the "church". I expect to see GoFundMe campaigns by supporters of quackery to help fund the "church's" time in court, and I also expect that the crooks running the business to take every action possible to avoid being held responsible. (I almost said "principals of the business" but that might confuse readers because they might have thought I was talking about principles, and this business doesn't have any of those.)
Have I mentioned that the people running the shell business called Genesis II Church of Health and Healing are just a pack of liars and thieves who think that calling their business a church might protect them from legal action (and also protect them from paying tax)? Just in case I've been a bit ambiguous, I'll make it quite clear that the operators of this scam are liars who want to steal money. A suitable treatment for their condition would be to attach blocks of calcium carbonate to their ankles and then drop them into the deep end of swimming pools disinfected with sodium chlorite. That should cure them.
I have reason to believe that this was created as satire, but you can never be sure these days.
I'll acknowledge creatorship if someone tells me who made it.
I have now been informed that if someone posts the image to Facebook it gets blocked for being false news about the coronavirus outbreak. People keep talking about Artificial Intelligence and how it can be used by organisations like Facebook to develop systems and algorithms to examine content. I can only assume that there is a parallel project to implement Artificial Stupidity and it was one of the algorithms from AS that was at work here.
That's not how it works. That's not how any of this works. (13/6/2020)
I offer without comment this question posted to an anti-vaccination forum, because I couldn't think of a suitable comment.
(I admit that this might have been an attempt by a sensible person to see how amusing the answers might be, but I've been looking at the anti-vaccinators for long enough to know that nothing is too stupid for them to believe.)
Let's defeat those oxidants! (13/6/2020)
A few years ago I was invited to hear a naturopath talk about the wonders of goji juice. It came as no surprise that he was a pyramid scheme scammer, or that he claimed all sorts of things which turned out to be, how shall I put this?, less than truthful. The amazing goji berries resurfaced this week as being the most antioxidant thing among all the antioxidant things that quackonauts keep pushing out of the warehouses.
It is an article of faith for believers in quackery that antioxidants are necessary to make people live longer (they inhibit the "aging process") and like all alternative (to) medicine nostrums, more is better. Without them we would all be, as Leonard Cohen put it, "rusted from the elbow to the finger", or maybe even worse. If you've seen what oxygen can do to boat anchor chains or those collapsed corrugated iron sheds that you see when you go for a drive in the country you would be very worried about oxidants oxidising your organs and turning your vital bodily fluids into streams of corrosion.
Luckily I have found a solution to the problem, and it's cheap and readily available at your local greengrocer's shop without the need to become enmeshed in a pyramid scheme. Of course without the pyramid scheme, sorry, Multi Level Marketing, you wont be able to make a five or six figure income from selling it, sorry, encouraging others to join your downline and opportunity, but at least you will be healthy.
I found out that oxalic acid is a very effective reducing agent, and as everyone who has studied chemistry at school knows, reducing is the opposite of oxidising. You can get all the oxalic acid you need by boiling up some rhubarb leaves (but use a steel saucepan - you get enough aluminium from vaccines without having it dissolved from your cooking utensils). If you are worried about acidifying your body, just sprinkle the cooked rhubarb leaves with some lemon juice to alkalise them.
Next week - cooking with castor oil seeds to cure teenage acne.
Disclaimer: Ratbags Rhubarb Remedy is supplied without any warranty as to efficacy or safety and has not been approved by any government body for human consumption. It is just as safe as boiling up almond kernels to extract the amygdalin (Vitamin B17), the consumption of sodium chlorite bleach to cure coronavirus infections or the enema application of bleach to cure autism. It is natural so it must be good.
Note: I know that oxalic acid is very poisonous and I wouldn't dare post this to any alt med forum because it would be almost certain that someone would try it. I've found from long experience that some people will believe anything, especially if it is sold on the basis that Big Pharma is just there for the money and there are cheap alternatives that work better than anything coming from a laboratory.
I've offended someone (13/6/2020)
I have a channel at YouTube that I don't pay much attention to. On at least three occasions I've had videos removed from there because of spurious copyright claims (see here, here and here) so I eventually moved all the videos that were linked from here inhouse and they are now displayed from my server using the HTML5 protocol.
Well, now it seems that I have offended someone who really exists. Not just someone - the government of Pakistan. The Pakistanis complained to YouTube and YouTube yanked a video that was causing some distress and offence to the mad Mullahs who run that theocracy. I'll let you decide what could possibly be offensive about this short video.
Quintessence Nook (13/6/2020)
June 2000 was a strange month. We people who sold accounting software were in a hiatus having sold all the stuff we could to clients in anticipation of a major change to taxation coming in on July 1 and were now waiting until the clients actually had to use the programs in real life and we could start billing again to handle bugs and errors in unfamiliar aspects of the software. Rumours were abounding about how preparations for the Olympic Games in September were oscillating between chaos and disaster. There was a bomb scare that disrupted service on the Sydney train network which was handled as a test of the Olympics security procedures except that nobody could admit to that because all the security procedures were secret so commuters whinged and whined like they always do.
June is Conspiracy Month, in fond memory of Earl Gordon Curley who passed away on 26th June, 1998. Earl was the most accurate psychic around, and predicted that the Pope would die in 1998. Earl did not, however, predict the death of Earl in that year. As well as being a psychic of awesome power, Earl was also a crackpot of such consummate looniness that all others can merely aspire to his greatness. It is people like Earl who make sites like Quintessence of the Loon possible, so the month was devoted to conspiracies.
Curse of all Curses
Back in March I mentioned that there was some dispute about the succession of the Papacy. Now I find that there are serious questions about the authority of the various Presidents of the USA since Ike assumed the Oval Office. I was having a bit of trouble reading this site, but I just twiddled a dial or two on the little control panel behind my left ear and it all became clear. Just read it and judge for yourself: "This is the medieval ages as far as what goes on behind the scenes by the multi-billion dollar corporations and the others in the corporate-military-intelligence complexes of many countries. Today, 300 plus ??? are American, British and Canadian Holocaust and in several other countries. this is certain to be the case or even many more 1 or 2 generations from now." This site only tells part of the story, though. When I think back to 1953 when Eisenhower became President, I am reminded that that was the same year that the Throne of England changed hands. Yes, the reign of Queen Elizabeth (or "Elizardeth", as she is known to her friends) parallels the false presidencies. Another piece of the jigsaw falls into place. Remember you read it here first.
When the incumbent President is a direct descendant of a previous President, there can be no doubt that secrets are being kept within the family.
PB October 2003
How POKEMON and Magic Cards Affect the Minds and Values of Children
Some people just don't have enough things to worry about, so they go about looking for evil. And often they find it, as is the case with this site. Anyone who has lived with youngsters over the last couple of years will be aware of the horrors of Pokémon. Not only do these horrible monsters cause chaos and capitalism in the schoolyard, but they can lead to the emptying of parents' wallets and fighting over the television. Worse still, collecting the cards can lead to even greater evils like pretending and imagining and play-acting and may, in extreme cases (just as sexual experimentation can start kids on the slippery slope to dancing and picnics), even precipitate a descent into the maelstrom of Harry Potter books.
[The image of Kadabra comes from the official Pokémon site and is, of course, the property of Nintendo. Lawyers are arguing about which magician owns the spoon.]
Oklahoma City Two Bomb Theory
I thought I had better have an Oklahoma City Bombing conspiracy site in here, so here is one picked at random. There can be no doubt that the government was involved in the bombing, because it was government property that got blown up. Everyone knows that the best way to cover your tracks is to injure yourself so that everyone feels sorry for you and forgets that you did it yourself. I notice that they link the "second gun" theory in the Kennedy Assassination to the "second bomb" theory. The links between the two incidents should be obvious to all - both "Oswald" and "Oklahoma" start with the same letter and both incidents happened on a day with a "y" in it. Why, indeed?
The picture is actually from a series showing the results of a nuclear blast. McVeigh was forced to use fertilizer instead of the real thing because the government had signed some sort of anti-nuclear testing treaty, probably because someone at the UN wanted them to. They take away our atom bombs and next thing they will be taking away our handguns. Where will it stop?
Someone blew this site up. As everyone knows, the truth of a conspiracy is reinforced when information about it is suppressed.
Above Top Secret - Uncovering Government Conspiracies
Shhh! Don't tell anyone about this site. It contains secrets so secret that even the Secret Service and Victoria's Secret don't know about them. In fact, this site is so secret that you must promise to forget everything you see after you go there. Even that picture of an anti-gravity-powered plane over there is so secret that you haven't really seen it (of course, being a stealth plane, you weren't meant to see it, even if it were not so secret). I find the idea of a parallel government apparatus quite plausible, because when you look at politicians and bureaucrats it is obvious that they couldn't run a keg party in a brewery so someone else must really be in control.
You may wonder how the author of this site knows all this secret stuff and why nobody has come around to disappear him. Well, I am going to reveal for the first time that this site is a hoax, a coverup of the real truth which is that there is a THIRD parallel government, sorry, gubmnt whose apparatchiks are pulling the levers, levers so secret that only I and a handful of others know about them. Remember you read it here first. If I or the Quintessence of the Loon site disappear you will know we are dead. Inquire no further or you will join us.
Well, a sort of a loss. The link now goes to somewhere where loons rant, and the original post is buried. You might even say it's secret and stealthy.
UltraSonics-America's Secret Police
Years ago, Paul Simon wrote a song called "The Sound of Silence". Nobody knew what it meant then, and even fewer know what it means now. That is because the unenlightened don't realise that what Simon was writing about was not some drug-addled 60s daydream but a prophecy of government control. Written midway between the assassinations of Kennedy and King, it was actually a coded reference to "The Silence of Sound", the ultrasonic tools of oppression which were even then being created in the secret underground laboratories buried deep beneath the Hoover Dam, the Statue of Liberty ("Liberty"?? Ha!!), the Tower of London and the Sydney Opera House. When Shakespeare had Mark Anthony say "Lend me your ears" he knew what he was talking about, because even in Roman times the government knew the power of sound. It is no coincidence that in parliaments and congresses around the world, the puppet rulers shout "Hear, hear" whenever one of them speaks about anything, because to legislate is to attack the freedom of citizens and they use this mnemonic to remind them of the organs of sound perception (even if you spell it "here, here"). They even talk about "sound government" when they want to get elected. I could go on, but I won't. Beethoven was deaf. Think about it!
Another loss. Could this be an example of the government enforcing silence? Do I need to ask?
This site won Loon of the Month. The citation read:
|Loon of the Month|
|It finally came down to a race between the parallel government and the sound control. Both sites have gained access to extremely secret information but, even though I was extremely impressed with the photograph of the almost-invisible stealthy anti-gravity plane, I have to say that getting your hands on the actual plans of the actual machine the gubmnt is using to control your mind is an achievement worthy of recognition. Now to build the antidote!|