"And I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it, And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it"

We all know that "millennium" comes from the Latin words "mille" and "annus" and means a thousand years. The word "millenium" comes from the Latin words "mille" and "anus" and means something else. This web site is devoted to the millenium of sites which don't deserve a place on the Web. We are not putting them on a pedestal - we are offering them a stool.

Offending the offensive since 1999

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February 22, 2020

Utter bastardry! (22/2/2020)

The big news around my place this week has been about a man who murdered his wife and three children by pouring petrol over them and setting them alight. He then killed himself, which is what these cowards always seem to do instead of doing the right thing and killing themselves first. Media reaction has been astonishing in its sympathy for the murderer.

  • His wife should have left him (she did, and had a restraining order against him)
  • Maybe she pushed him too far (this from a woman who at one time was considered a leading feminist)
  • "Man dies next to his family" (this was an actual headline in a media outlet, ignoring the fact that he killed the family)
  • "Football star in family tragedy" (another headline ignoring the fact that he caused the tragedy; also as his football career apparently consisted of playing one trial match for a major team some years ago I suppose I could claim to be a major player in the pharmaceutical industry because I once applied for an IT job with Roche)
  • A policeman investigating the murder made a public statement of sympathy for the murderer (to the credit of the Police Service, his superior officer jumped on him from a great height and it looks like his next annual performance review will not go well)
  • And why should all this be of interest to readers of this site? Well, the man's problems were almost certainly a vaccine injury. These comments were posted to an anti-vaccination liar Facebook group.

And if that isn't enough to make you vomit all over your carpet, look at the number of anencephalic creatures who clicked the "Like" button to show their approval of this insanity. I don't block out the names of the guilty, so if Mandy doesn't like seeing her name here she can complain to someone but she shouldn't expect a favourable response if that someone is me. Another anti-vaxxer claimed that the woman was obviously vaccine damaged and that is why she didn't leave her husband (she had left him a year before), and the idea that he might have suffered brain damage from concussion during his very short football career was also dismissed as a possible vaccine injury. (Concussion wasn't an excuse anyway.)

Speaking of media reports ... (22/2/2020)

See more SMBC here

It's deja vu all over again (22/2/2020)

Back in 2003 I reported on what might have been seen as the silliest and most useless waste of the time and resources of the High Court of Australia that anyone could imagine, but all these years later there is a new contender.

A loon wants to sue the Commonwealth of Australia and has applied to the High Court to try to get it to rule that vaccination is both unconstitutional and illegal under international law. Anti-vaccination liars are wetting their pants about this, even going so far as to claim that the High Court has endorsed their insanity. Those of us of sound mind realise that asking a court to look at something is not the same as the court looking and agreeing. At the time I'm writing this the Court has not even agreed to read the writ let alone empanelled some expensive judges to consider its worth, but facts have never bothered the opponents of vaccines. If the Court does decide to amuse themselves by actually having a hearing I might have to take a trip to Canberra to watch the fun, although I imagine that eating popcorn in the courtroom is probably discouraged.

I could go though the thing line by line offering criticism and comments, but there are only so many hours in a week. You can read the masterpiece here,, but I will extract some parts to give the flavour.

  • It's good to get the aggrandisement out of the way right up front. You wouldn't want the High Court Justices to think this was a trivial matter.

  • Dr Judy Wilyman? I just snorted coffee out of my nose.

  • Spelling is sort of important in legal pleadings. Perhaps Solihin should have sought the assistance of a dictionary.

  • At least he didn't say "Big Pharma", but if it's "one of the biggest industries on Earth" it probably doesn't need the adjective.

  • Nothing like a bit of hyperbole to lighten the mood, is there?

  • As a card-carrying member of the journalists' union and therefore a member of the Fourth Estate I'm going to recommend that we all wear t-shirts saying "Sheer Immoral Evil" to the next union get-together. It's also going to be the name of my new band.

  • Some rather extreme claims there, but I'll leave it up to the Court to rule on the truthiness of them.

  • Actually, Australia is not a "party" to the Nuremberg Code (or even a "Party"), but why should a fact intrude into the writ?

  • I can hardly wait.

  • Oh, that's the sort of "legal and scientific evidence" is it? That would be the "thesis" I commented on just after it was accepted and Dr Wilyman was endoctorated.

  • I must be a dreadful person. Not only am I member of the Fourth Estate, but I have appeared on television with Professor McIntyre. Even worser, I am a member of the committee of the Australian Skeptics (founded by Dick Smith in 1980) (to give it its full and bold title) and therefore complicit in influencing the media (even beyond my unionist fifth-column activities) and I have been a speaker at Global Skeptics conferences. I should have to wear a warning label.

  • That would be my friend Mr (he's a surgeon) John Cunningham, who was quite disappointed that he didn't get a mention until Page 10 of the writ.

It would be sad if it wasn't so funny.

I have no idea what reminded me of this (22/2/2020)

It's flat. It really is. (22/2/2020)

It might seem to be bad taste to talk about Flat Earthers (or "Flerfers" as I've seen them called) in the same week as someone died in a failed attempt to launch a rocket to 5,000 feet to prove that the earth is flat, but what can you do? (I live 3,700 feet up in the air, but there's dirt and rock below me so it isn't the same as looking down from a steam powered rocket.) Someone suggested that the curvature of the Earth is visible from passenger aircraft flying between cities, but this was rebutted by the claim that it is an illusion caused by the curvature of the windows. A question as to why this illusion is not apparent when looking out the window when the plane is on the ground was ignored. I did like the Flerfer who said that the Flat Earth movement was irresistible because it is a global phenomenon.

But launching steam powered rockets to look for horizontality or keeping the blinds down when flying are unnecessary, because simple logic tells us that the Earth must be flat. Consider this diagram:

Checkmate, Spherists!

See more Chain Saw Suit here.

February 15, 2020

I'm blocked. Boo Hoo! (15/2/2020)

I did my monthly link check only to find on the day after Valentine's Day that someone doesn't love me any more.

It's only taken a little over 14 years for Mr Webb to notice that I had something to say about his marvellous web site (or should that be webb site?), but my apple-cheeked old grandmother always said that patience is a virtue.

The site in question would have to be one of the most unhinged, batshit crazy things I have seen in my long association with the Internet. It even has blinking text, just like the old Geocities days of yore. You can go here to see what it looked like in all its magnificence, but keep your Ventolin inhaler handy in case the laughter triggers an asthma attack. If I hadn't been immunised against craziness by decades of doing sites like this I might have been forced to dial 000* and gasp the words "ambulance" and "anaphylaxis".

And yes, it really was my IP address.

*Footnote: Some moron once tried to insult me by saying "You're so stupid you wouldn't know how to spell 911". I politely replied that it's spelled "000" around my place.

Speaking of checking links ... (15/2/2020)

One of the purposes of the regular link check is to find sites that no longer exist.

It seems that the British Anti-Vivisection Association is no more (their web site has totally vanished). I went looking and I found a discussion on a forum called "Everything Vegan" where everyone was totally disgusted with BAVA for changing their web site and no longer being true to the cause. They were described as "pretend abolitionists" and "bloody useless".

A link was provided to the new BAVA web site as evidence of how far they have moved from the path of truth and light.

Strangely the new and totally unacceptable site seems to belong to an organisation called Bristol Against Violence and Abuse and addresses such matters as domestic violence, forced marriages and female genital mutilation. Won't anyone think of the animals?

But BAVA must be BAVA, right?

There's stupidity and extreme stupidity, but looking at a web site and assuming it belongs to a different organisation with the same abbreviated name is stupidity that exceeds military grade. I laughed so hard I had trouble lighting the barbecue to cook my sausages for lunch.

See more from Dan Piraro here

Ding! I've got mail. (15/2/2020)

People confusing two organisations with the same acronym reminded me of the academic chemist who claimed that methyl- and ethyl- compounds could be treated as having identical chemical properties because the names rhyme.

From: Liz Kanan <kananfarms1@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 4 Feb 2020 18:41:35 -0500
Subject: Re Boyd Haley


I just ran across a rather scathing article you wrote about Dr Boyd
Haley. I was wondering what your background is?

My background is set out on the About page of this site, but it would be churlish of me to use that old saying from quackworld "Do your research". It is also relevant here that I studied chemistry in high school.

I have high levels of heavy metal toxicity and off the chart values of Gadolinium.

How were you exposed to this metal? I had a compound of it pumped into me for MRI examination of a broken ankle, but otherwise it's a bit difficult to be exposed to. Where are these charts that show normal levels, and who did the measuring? Please don't say Doctors Data, because those crooks just make stuff up.

I have genetic variations called MTHFR and COMT.

Everyone has MTHFR and COMT, so you need to specify which genetic variations you have. There are many and they can result in all sorts of things (including nothing at all). What effects did you have that caused concern? Anencephaly? Opioid addiction?

The MTHFR especially affects how I detox environmental toxins.

Which "toxins" are these?

So there is a certain percentage of people who cannot detox naturally even the smallest amounts of mercury, lead, contrasts etc...

Did you have kidney or liver failure? These are the ways that "toxins" usually get eliminated naturally from the body.

I had my 5 amalgams safely removed with a biological dentist last August.

You have my deepest sympathy that you undertook these needless procedures. You were deceived and robbed.

Since then with diet and chelation drugs I am slowly feeling better. There is no way I would even consider vaccines.

Why not? Do they all contain these toxic "heavy metals"?

The FDA allows small amounts of Mercury.

In which vaccines? Please be specific, with links to the manufacturers' product information. I've mentioned Doctors Data who managed to find "mercury" in vaccines where no compound of mercury was used in any part of the manufacturing process, but lying is what liars do.

For a certain percentage of people this small amount is dangerous. All of this is compounded by all our processed foods, chemicals in household products, etc...

Life is a dangerous thing, isn't it?

Dr Haley isnít wrong. Someday it will become evident.

Dr Haley is extremely wrong and all anyone has to do to demonstrate this is to read a high school chemistry text book. How he held the university job he did is a condemnation of the hiring practices of the institution.

Even more mail (15/2/2020)

I have rather good spam filtering, but sometimes I get asked to confirm deletion and sometimes I decide to let something through because it's so amusing (see for example my collection of penis enlargement spam). And yes, I have three levels of virus protection.

I let this one through because it was personally addressed to me by name. Such dedication to quality should not go unrewarded.

ATTENTION: The last time you visited a porn website with teenagers, you silently downloaded and installed the software I developed.

My software has turned on your camera and recorded both your screen and the act of your masturbation..

My sneaky program also downloaded all your email contact lists and a list of your friends from social networks.

I have the - Peter.mp4 video file - with you jerking off to teenagers, as well as a file with your relatives and associates email addresses.

After downloading those files let me say one thing: your fantasies are far beyond the normal! If you want me to delete both files and keep your secret, you must send me the Bitcoin (BTC) payment.
I give you 72 houɼs only to send the Bitcoin transfer.

If you don't know how to pay with Bitcoin, visit Google and search - how to buy Bitcoin (BTC).
Visit one of the brokers (Coinbase, Bitstamp, anycoindirect), buy Bitcoin and send it to my address.
Only then I will leave you alone!

At anycoindirect you can buy Bitcoin instantly with SEPA, Giropay, EPS, Mybank, Sofort, credit cards or Bancontract.

Here are the payment details: Send 3,000 AUD = 0.2752198 BTC
to this Bitcoin address as soon as possible:


(copy & paste address - it's case sensitive) 1 BTC = 10,850 AUD right now, so send exactly 0.2752198 BTC to my Bitcoin wallet.

Do not try to cheat me!
As soon as you open this Email I will be notified you opened it.
I am monitoring all actions on your device..

This Bitcoin address is linked to you only, so I will know immediately when you send the correct amount.
When you pay in full, I will remove both files (your masturbation video and your contact lists) and I will deactivate my sneaky program.
Changing your password will not help you, I will still have access to your device remotely.

If you choose not to send me the Bitcoin transfer...
I will send your masturbation video to all your friends and associates from your contact lists that I downloaded from your device.
Your family members will receive it as well. You will regret it, trust me.

Here are the payment details again: Send 3,000 AUD = 0.2752198 BTC
to this Bitcoin address as soon as possible:


(copy & paste address - it's case sensitive)
You can visit the police but they will not solve your real problem.
My program will still be installed on your device and I still will own your masturbation videos.
Police will not catch me anyway. I know what I am doing. I do not live in your country and I know how to stay anonymous.

Don't ever try to deceive me - I will know it. My program is recording all the websites you visit and all your key presses. If you try to trick me - I will send this ugly video to everyone you know, including your family members.

Don't forget the potential shame - your life can be a disaster!

I am waiting for your Bitcoin payment.
You have 72 houɼs left.

Anonymous Hacker

P.S. If you need more time to pay, open your notepad on your device and write '48h more'. Only this way you can contact me. I will consider giving you more time before I release the video, but only when I see that you are really struggling to buy btc. I know you can afford it - so do not try to trick me!

Well, the 72 hours is up and no video has appeared. I'm not really surprised, but what surprises me is that anyone could fall for such a transparent scam. And as if I'm going to be paying anyone anything with Bitcoin! I had thought of replying and suggesting that we monetise the video together and share the profits, but I had better things to waste my time on.

And about the possibility of hacking my camera - I used to cover the camera with a condom to make it safe but the lubricant made the lens cloudy so I found another way to deter hacking. There is a clue in the photo.

See more Jesus and Mo here

February 8, 2020

Short update this week because I've had a computer failure. My laptop that I use when travelling around journalisting at car rallies has developed a terminal failure and much time has been wasted looking for a fix. Despite my long experience with computers it's not the sort of thing I can fix myself and the hourly rate at the computer repair shop clearly indicates that buying a new computer will be a bargain. (This is like when I damaged my camera and Canon wanted almost as much as I paid for it just to look at it, parts and labour extra. It's one of the reasons I now have a Nikon.) I've had the thing for six years so I can't really complain.

While I don't hate shopping for computers as much as I hate shopping for cars, houses or clothes it still takes time wandering around shops looking at specifications (and laughing at what some manufacturers think is adequate) and picking things up to see how big they really are and how heavy so that's what I've been doing for the last few days and as I live in a small country town all the looking had to be done more than 50 kilometres from home.

Of course, now I have it I have to spend a whole lot of time installing all the software I need (and uninstalling all the rubbish that manufacturers insist on burdening their products with). That's after I sort out the licensing of products that can't be deactivated because I can't get into the old computer. Adobe have helped out with PhotoShop etc, but I'm going to have to get some Xanax in before I ask Symantec to explain why when I log into my account it tells me that I have a spare licence for Norton Antivirus but when I try to register the new installation it tells me that I have no free licences. And to think I used to sell software for a living. I sometimes think I should have stuck to playing harpsichord in a brothel.

Those wacky climate change deniers (8/2/2020)

Although nobody would believe it now that we have had the heaviest rainfall around here for decades, we are still drought stricken out here in the country. Our local dam was just about to go below 25% capacity, so I went out there before the rain started and took a couple of photos - one of the dry river in front of the dam and one standing in the river bed looking at the dam spillway. I posted the photos to the local community Facebook group, together with two photos of the same places in October 2016 when the dam was spilling several hundred megalitres a day.

Then this happened.

Did you notice how l politely I replied to the denier? I can show such admirable restraint sometimes.

This is not a joke (8/2/2020)

Hard as it would be for someone not familiar with the species to believe, this is an actual quote from an actual, well respected anti-vaccination liar. (Not well respected by me, I should add.)

I've been criticised for suggesting that anti-vaccination liars want to see more dead children, but here is a leading member of their community using pictures of murdered children in support of their demented agenda.

Neither is this (8/2/2020)

Yes, there are people who believe all of these conspiracy nonsenses. Note the heap of skulls in the background, which looks very like photos of the scenes found in Pol Pot's "killing fields".

I wonder how the loons would react if they were told that their tinfoil hats aren't really made out of tin - they are full of the deadly aluminium.

So here are some real jokes (8/2/2020)

A Google image search couldn't tell me who made this. Reader Ben Harris
suggested it might be the work of Tom Gauld, and I think he might be right.
Thanks, Ben (and Tom too, of course).

See more from Mark Parisi here

See more Cyanide and Happiness here

You can click here to see everything that has appeared on the front page over the last 20 years.

Book of the Week

The Bear's Progress: SkeptoBear's World Tour 2004 The Bear's Progress: SkeptoBear's World Tour 2004 by Peter Bowditch. In January 2004, at the invitation of Mr James Randi, I was a speaker at The Amazing Meeting in Las Vegas. At the time I was Vice President of Australian Skeptics and I went as a representative of that organisation, accompanied by the other Vice President. Also in the party was SkeptoBear, a bear of little repute, who insisted on coming as a neutral observer. This is the story of the trip around the bottom left-hand corner of the USA and the top left-hand corner of Mexico.

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