"And I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it, And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it"

We all know that "millennium" comes from the Latin words "mille" and "annus" and means a thousand years. The word "millenium" comes from the Latin words "mille" and "anus" and means something else. This web site is devoted to the millenium of sites which don't deserve a place on the Web. We are not putting them on a pedestal - we are offering them a stool.

Offending the offensive since 1999

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July 4, 2020

Belated apology (4/7/2020)

I have a tradition of passing on the annual Gates Letter as soon as it's published in about February each year, but this year I forgot. I am here today to rectify this terrible oversight. The letter used to be issued as a PDF file but Bill has probably had a disagreement with the folks at Adobe so now it only comes as a web page.

Click here to see some reminiscences about twenty years of giving truckloads of money to good causes.

Beware the cyborg! (4/7/2020)

Byron Shire is the poster child for woowoo and nonsense in my home state. It's where the strongest anti-vaccination movement lives. The Council recently announced that it had banned 5G mobile phone towers (despite the fact that local councils have absolutely no say or power of veto over telecommunication infrastructure). Residents are eternally disappointed that the town of Nimbin where people worship marijuana is outside the shire boundaries. People from there never tire of telling the rest of us that as Cape Byron is the easternmost part of Australia they get the sun before the rest of us do. The water is fluoride-free.

Someone has decided to crank up the weirdness to a new level.

Who wouldn't want to be warned about the encroaching full spectrum dominance iminent (sic) cyborg future? Surely you must be worried by the 606 new registered adult vaccines (luckily it's not 666) or the 5427 vaccines in development (such precise numbers!). The COVID-19 plague has already started us on the way to a cashless society (I had to use a card to pay for a coffee yesterday) so that battle is probably lost. As the Byron Council has banned 5G the locals won't have to worry about the 5G-7.5G NNEMF open air prison just yet.

And how many people turned up to the protest? Think of a number between 1 and 5.

Disclaimer: I live in a town named after a fairy, the biggest employer in the place is called Borg and the fluoride is back in the water supply. I'm probably doomed.

See more from the the Angriest Programmer in the World here

Quintessence Nook (4/7/2020)

July is always a strange month. It reminds us of the Julian calendar, which gave us the 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th months but gave them names indicating that they are actually the 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th. Somehow we manage to overcome the confusion. In Australia it is the month when the Australian Taxation Office web site continually fails through overloading because everyone at the ATO is caught by surprise as every individual and corporation in the country tries to file a tax return. A special piquancy was added to the tax problems in 2000 because we were all coping with a new consumption tax that the government had promised to never introduce and which put the full burden of the extra tax on end consumers, raising the price of almost everything by 10%. Exceptions and quirks to the tax regulations added to the load on the ATO web site as bewildered accountants asked for advice about their clients' obligations with such questions as "Does the GST have to be charged on cake icing as well as on the cake?" and "How do I apportion the GST across the ingredients for a lunchtime sandwich and why is it different if the customer buys fruit juice instead of a Pepsi?".

Here are some gems from the July 2000 archives of the now retired Quintessence of the Loon site. Sadly, the world is still infested with chaos and madness, but if that all went away I'd have nothing to write about.

Songs from Beyond
I was about to say "Now I've heard everything", but that would obviously be untrue as we now have a way to hear songs written by dead people after they die. This raises some interesting legal questions. Some years ago I wrote a book and I wanted to open it with a few words from John Lennon's Imagine but Michael Jackson (who owns John's words) would not give permission. So what is Whacko Jacko going to do about this site? Does he own the songs here too? Linda Polley has a whole CD full of Lennon songs to put out as soon as she finds a producer, and I am looking forward to her forthcoming tour with Buddy Holly, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Miles Davis. Now, there's a band for you. Giuseppe Verdi will produce the souvenir CD and Picasso's doing the t-shirts.

[The picture of John comes from The Internet Beatles Album by Dave Harber Thanks, Dave.]

Sadly, this site seems to have dropped into a black hole like the one in the middle of a 12" vinyl record. But, as John himself once wrote, it was twenty years ago.

Alternative Science
"They laughed at Galileo". Richard Milton does not actually say these words, but he shows every sign of believing in the principle. Apparently lots of loony ideas should be given careful consideration because some good ideas of the past took some time to become accepted and some were even declared nonsense by people who should have known better (or who, in many cases, had no access to what we know today). I had to think about that for a minute, but then it became clear to me - in the past some scientists were right but other scientists said they were wrong and some were wrong when they said others were wrong therefore today some scientists are right because other scientists say they are wrong and other scientists are wrong because they say the first lot are wrong. And the first law of thermodynamics is not universal constitutional law and can be overturned at any time without us all having to vote on it because it is just a precedent and tradition. And I know cold fusion works because it is winter here and the fuse just blew and my heater stopped working and I am cold. Perhaps my cat will perform an act of Spontaneous Feline Combustion and warm the place up.

Mr Milton's web site is no more, but you can still buy a copy of his book

End-time Deliverance Center
Quick! Save yourself from the demons! Don't go mountain climbing or bungee jumping. Throw away your frogs and slaughter all your unicorns. I won't tell you again.

Pentagrammation Rituals
This site would have been listed here anyway, just because it is about a play which has a character called "The Loon" and another one called "The Alchemist" who seems to be looking for his quintessence. Apart from that, I have no idea what it is about. There are lots of people in fancy dress who seem to be doing something. There are other people in fancy dress who seem to be having things done to them. There are people with no dress behaving in ways which would probably cause your maiden aunt to chew the top off a bottle of Jim Beam. There are people with strange headdresses on. Thankfully, there are no frogs or unicorns. The picture at right is the most understandable thing on the site, and it means about as much as the texture on a taco.

[Warning: there are a couple of images on this site which may really send your maiden aunt into the vapours. Make her look with her eyes closed. Actually, this site might offend everyone. It could be the most outrageous piece of blasphemy (with a hint of pornography) on the 'net, or it could just be the work of a pack of drunken fruitcakes with a camera and too much time on their hands. You be the judge. I'm off to sacrifice a platypus and eat its spleen.]

This site won Loon of the Month. The citation read:

Loon of the Month
Richard Milton might look like a certainty for Loon of the Month as he seems to believe anything (provided that some scientist doesn't believe it), but he disqualified himself by flattering me on a public mailing list. I am not for sale (well, I probably am, but he didn't offer enough). Linda Polley was a strong runner because, by channelling John Lennon, she has helped me get revenge on Michael Jackson. I hope Jacko turns green (if it's a colour he hasn't used already).

The winner is the Pentagrammation Rituals, just because I can't figure out what is going on there but there seems to be a loon and some quintessence and everyone is having such a good time.

International Association of Past Life Therapists
Do you want a new job? Sick of the boss and the office politics and the commute each way each day? Here's your chance at a whole new career as a Past Life Therapist. This means you can take people back into their past lives to see what causes their problems today. But wait, there's more! You can also learn how to become a Psychic Counselor, so you can fix up people's spirits. (I knew a bartender once who could fix real good spirits.) But wait, there's more (and a set of steak knives). You can even take on that highly-in-demand speciality, ET Abduction Counseling, and help people put their lives back together after they get back from the probatorium.

[There is a really strong warning on this site about using any words or graphics from it. The ETs made me do it. I must need counseling.]

The Nephilim Resistance Task Force
It always pays to be ready for the future. Here's an organisation which is getting ready to defend us from the Nephilim, or giants, who have been around since Adam and Eve started creative gardening and herpetology. You see, everyone thought that the giants who were around in those days had gone away, but the NRTF knows that they have just been hiding, biding their time until the appointed day and hour when they will arise from wherever they are and we will be thrown into pitched battle with these spawns of evil. The battles will be furious and blood will run like rivers. Respect will be restored to the practitioners of the ancient arts, men will again be able to say proudly to their sons: "I am a slayer", and women will be able to again openly offer fruit to their lovers. Snakes will walk again with pride.

How true is this? (4/7/2020)

See more Savage Chickens here

June 27, 2020

A scoundrel appears (27/6/2020)

Many people have misinterpreted Samuel Johnson's famous quote "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel" to mean that Johnson was critical of patriotism. He wasn't. The quote refers to scoundrels and how they wrap themselves in the flag to justify their actions.

Prominent anti-vaccination liar Larry Cook (or should that be C[r]ook?) has firmly identified himself as part of the scoundrel class with his new venture "Medical Freedom Patriots".

At least nobody can ever be unsure from now on about Cook's level of sanity or morality. There are only two things in the list (three if you count the redundant "Pro Medical Freedom" implied in the name) that have anything to do with medicine. The rest are either irrelevant to the conversation (God, prayer, Trump, political parties and the Constitution) or are signs of madness (Qanon).

But I'm sure that there are people out there who think that this moron has something worthwhile to say. And they will keep sending him money. It's sometimes difficult to believe that we live in the 21st century and not in some Dark Age of superstition and depravity.

Have I mentioned that you have to pay a subscription fee to look at Larry's new web site? Suckers aren't just things on octopus tentacles.

Well, I'm convinced! (27/6/2020)

I must have been away sick the day they taught this in Latin class because if I were to relate the word "COVID" to anything to do with Latin I would translate it as "100 Roman poets", but then Ovid did write a work named "Metamorphoses" so changing from one thing to another is relevant when talking about him. My years studying linguistics at university also managed to miss the fact that "C" and "see" were synonymous in the ancient language, something which is obvious to scholars of such matters because they rhyme in English. I suppose it matters which ancient language you are talking about. It is of course a fact well known to historians that Roman armies did not use a white flag to indicate surrender but instead displayed a sign with "XIX" on it. Arab armies would have shown "19", and this is probably the reason why battles between Romans and Arabs always ended in the total slaughter of one side with no prisoners being taken from the losing side.

Or something.


I found out some time after I'd posted the site update that the aforementioned Larry Cook had actually and consciously posted this drivel to his many followers. He did it with a straight face, demonstrating the contempt he has for the people who send him money. He is too smart to believe it himself, but even the biggest or most ridiculous lie can be used in the campaign against medicine and sense.

See more from the Chuckle Brothers here

Imagine there's no chiro, it's easy if you try (27/6/2020)

On June 11, 2020, the prestigious journal Chiropractic & Manual Therapies carried an article headed " Vitalism in contemporary chiropractic: a help or a hinderance?" written by two chiropractors, J. Keith Simpson and Kenneth J. Young. (The formal citation is "Simpson, J.K., Young, K.J. Vitalism in contemporary chiropractic: a help or a hinderance?. Chiropr Man Therap 28, 35 (2020)."). You can read the article here, but I'll just quote the Conclusion:

From the abstract:
Vitalism has had many meanings throughout the centuries of recorded history. Though only vaguely defined by chiropractors, vitalism, as a representation of supernatural force and therefore an untestable hypothesis, sits at the heart of the divisions within chiropractic and acts as an impediment to chiropractic legitimacy, cultural authority and integration into mainstream health care.

From the main paper:
We assert that until chiropractic abandons the outdated concept of vitalism, it will never become a genuine mainstream status health care profession, at least by a definition that includes the moral and legal fiduciary duties to patients, all of which are necessary for the profession to uphold its social contract requirements. So long as a vitalistic ideology remains within chiropractic, it will remain separate and distinct, on the fringe of health care, an easy target for legitimate criticism from organized medicine, and therefore vulnerable to further marginalization by government regulation and private reimbursement services.

Even though chiropractic displays many of the attributes of a profession, legitimacy and cultural authority will remain out of reach as long as there is no consistent, coherent and defensible professional identity that comports with generally accepted concepts of disease and health and uses a language common with other health care providers.

There is an Internet abbreviation "TL;DR" which is used to indicate that the reader gave up because the article was too long or had too many big words (it means "too  long, didn't read"). The TL;DR version of this paper (or maybe just a really short summary) is "Chiropractic will remain quackery unless the fundamental principles of chiropractic are abandoned and it becomes something else".

See more from Wrong Hands here

But this isn't a joke! (27/6/2020)

As soon as we recover from the COVID-19 crisis, another threat to public health is set to emerge. The perpetually broke and always asking for survival money Australian Vaccination-[lie, lie, lie] Network has managed to find enough money behind the lounge cushions and in the car's ashtray to buy and paint a bus which will be touring the country spreading lies about vaccines. It doesn't look like a cheap second-hand bus and the signwriting wouldn't have come cheap.

Here's another look at the horror.

The sign on the side says "The People's Truth", but like almost all web sites which have "truth" in the domain name, there will be precious little truth dispensed by the bus. The AVN claim that a very large number of parents with vaccine-damaged children have responded to a survey saying they want to meet the bus and sign it, but as any claim from the AVN needs to be taken with a bulk ore carrier of salt I'm assuming that it's a lie. (I tried to register my interest but I was blocked from responding. How strange. Not.)

Part of the Procession of Perfidy will be to arrange screenings of the "documentaries" Vaxxed and Vaxxed II. No doubt there will be a nominal fee for being exposed to these excrescences, even though they can bee seen for free here and here.

I look forward to the bus arriving in a town near me. A few years ago someone suggested vandalising the Masonic Temple in my town in case I was a Mason (I'm not), so maybe I could return the favour by pasting copies of the Health Care Complaints Commission's public warning about the AVN on the bus. After signing my name of course.

The real beauty of this - my friend who goes by the name of Reasonable Hank (and who is coincidentally named Peter) is not me and neither is the Ken mentioned. I have met them both. The fact that we are conflated in the decayed "minds" of anti-vaccination liars is a testament to their investigative powers.

A reasonable (but not Hank) question (27/6/2020)

What is the collective noun for a group of morons?

See more from Bad Chemicals here

June 20, 2020

More lies than you could poke a stick at (20/6/2020)

Back in January I mentioned that a political party calling itself the "Involuntary Medication Objectors (Vaccination/Fluoride) Party" had applied to the Australian Electoral Commission for permission to change their name to a much more deceptive "Informed Medical Options Party". Objections to the name change were sought but didn't stop the change. The name change was obviously an attempt to get more votes. (The party received one, count them, one vote at the polling place where I served as an official at the most recent election. As there is no mental hospital in the town I hope and assume that someone just made a mistake.)

People wearing IMOP t-shirts have been appearing at 5G/Coronavirus/vaccination/Kill Bill Gates/take your pick protests across the country lately, so their true agenda is no secret. As long as other voters don't find out, of course.

A friend of mine received the letter below in his letterbox.

As it must be obvious to anybody who can think that this was written by someone pushing at the boundaries of sanity, I actually find it encouraging. By exposing themselves as unhinged lunatics they might cause sensible people to vote for someone else.

I'm a bit surprised that the mention of Antoine Bechamp wasn't accompanied by the traditional lie about Pasteur recanting on his deathbed and saying that Bechamp was right. This omission can be forgiven, however, after observing the claim that cereals and grains are harmful. As the domestication of grasses was the foundation for all agriculture, the human race must have been dying out for many thousands of years since the first person strayed from nature and mashed up some seeds for a meal. (Disclaimer - I had a wheat-based cereal for breakfast today, served with milk. Don't send flowers to my funeral, but make a donation to MSF instead. Thank you.)

I very much doubt that the writer of this bilge has ever seen an electron microscope, let alone "learnt how to use all the equipment". I always have a wry smile when someone denies the existence of viruses but when challenged will say that Royal Raymond Rife was a persecuted genius. Rife of course claimed to be able to see viruses through his optical microscope and his followers claim that his discoveries were suppressed and his microscopes destroyed.

Oh, and here are fifty photos of viruses as seen through electron microscopes. But IBM probably shares company directors with Big Pharma companies. And as everyone knows, the success of their PCs in the 1980s was due to something made by Bill Gates.

See more Bizarro comics here

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Quantum Leaps in the Wrong Direction Quantum Leaps in the Wrong Direction by Charles Wynn and Arthur Wiggins. There is a difference between science and pseudoscience, between reality and fantasy. This book shows you how to tell the difference.

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